Alive and Scarred
by COMMA OF THOUGHT
Summary: what if Edward were still a vampire but a lot more social? what if Bella was girl with a unique gift and a troubled past? LifedeathLovehate! My First fanfic! plzz R&R!CHAPTER 30 IS UP! sorry for the wait! pictures and songs from story are now on profile
1. Playlist

NOT A CHAP

**NOT A CHAP**

Hey Yall! I know this is like the 3rd time I've added to the story today, but it has been a rather stressful day. You see its mother's day so we hired a cleaning lady to come scrub the house while my mom went out with my dumb ass step dad all day. So I have been dealing with screaming younger siblings with no help from older siblings. Only Eric decided to pay a speak of attention, but it happened to be giving Hunter (youngest sister) a packet of fun dip. I thought I was gonna need a tranquilizer. I didn't get one but I found the closest thing to it; Children's Motren. So they were all conked out and I realized I was alone in the house except for the kids which meant I couldn't leave. So I have been board out of my mind and still am. I don't feel like mustering up enough emotion to write another chapter right now. So I made a playlist for the story. Some songs may not make sense right now but they will in later chapters. A lot of them are just sort of what the characters are feeling and what not. So give it a chance and check out some of the songs. They are some of my fave bands and artists so be nice!

A Time for Yohe- Between the Trees

Believe- The Bravery

I Will Possess Your Heart- Death Cab for Cutie

On My Own- The Used

The Taste of ink- The Used

Empty Space- Air Traffic

Red Sam- Flyleaf

I'm So Sick- Flyleaf

Mans needs- The Cribs

Numb- Linkin Park (or the one with Jay-z)

Lullabies- All Time Low

Mad World- Gary Jules

When everything stops- SCHOOL BOY HUMOR

Sally's Song- Fiona Apple

Dream to Believe- Amor for Sleep

Black Bird- Across the Universe Soundtrack

Cat and Mouse- Red Jump Suit Apparatus

Jeremy- Pearl Jam

Daughter- Pearl Jam

Bring me to life- Evanescence

Control- Metro Station

Iris- Goo Goo Dolls

Heroheroin- Boys Like Girls

Thunder- Boys Like Girls

Hey Miss Right- SCHOOL BOY HUMOR

Angles- Within Temptation

Never alone- Barlow Girl

Nightmare- Hafilax

In the arms of the Angel- Sara McLaughlin

Songs that saved my life- Kill Hannah

Stay with me- Mitch Hansan band

Low Fidelity- The Spill Canvas

To live without it- The Spill Canvas

When Your Gone- Avril Livene (I think I spelled her name wrong….who the hell would name their poor child that anyway? Must have been hippies…)

Don't Fear the reaper- Blue Oyster Cult

Gravity- Sara Bareilles

You'll be in my heart- Phil Collins (Mema and Bella)

Red Neck Woman- Gretchen Wilson (strictly Mema)

Hate Me- Blue October

Useless- Imogen Heap

Hide and Seek- Imogen Heap

Stepping on the clouds- The Trammells (I don't really know who sings it but we sing it at church and my great grandma used to play the piano at the church and she loved it. I just found these guys on the web.)

Whisky lullaby- Bad Paisley & Allison Krauss (Charlie)

Feel free to suggest what else I should put on here!

I may add more………


	2. Starting Line

Disclaimer: I don't own nothing! It's all Meyer character magic!

Chapter l: How I got where I am

I had been to many doctors in my seventeen years of living. No, I don't have cancer or anything and I'm NOT crazy. But when you have a paranoid mother like Renee, and you play with thin air rather then the neighbor girl what do you expect? Well I'm not totally odd for no reason at all. Trust me I have a reason. Just to warn you, what I'm about to tell you may make you think that I'm scitso or on acid. So let me give you a little hint as to why I'm a freak….

_"I see dead people." – Haley Joel Osment_

Are you catching my drift? Yep that's right I see dead people. I'm Isabella Marie Sawn- call me Bella-and I am a medium. Or to most kids "that freaky girl who talks to walls."

Ok so I can explain that. Sometimes I get caught up in my little sessions and forget that there are people around. Yep that's right sessions. Around the time I was 8 years old I decided that if I couldn't beat them I would join them. At first I thought they were monsters. I always avoided my room and stayed at my mother's side. But that did not stop them from getting there one last hope of connection. So I started helping lost spirits. Many times I have to help them realize that they are actually dead. So normally once I helped them see what was going on they would cross over. But sometimes they know that they are dead and just have some unfinished business. So sense I happen to be the light in their tunnel at the time I have to do some dirty work. You have no idea how many anonymous calls I've made to homicide about tough cold cases. So I guess I'm kind of a messenger.Trust me I take my work seriously. One time I almost got caught breaking into a house trying to get a locket for one of my caspers who wanted her daughter to have the locket and not her sister. I brushed it off because I had more important things to do and I was already a klutz so how could I manage breaking a entering? But she started pulling my hair when I was in class. In the end I ended up turning around and screaming for her to stop and telling her how annoying she was. So as a result the poor boy behind me looked like warm facing a bird. So that is probably another reason as to why I don't have any friends. But I am very popular in the afterlife. I now things not many girls my age know. I have many friends they just aren't alive. Anyway it all works out. I was never that social any way. Plus I've been on a journey for my father. You see my mom was sick of Forks so she packed me up and left when I was six mounts old. After that Charlie (my father) killed himself. But maybe I should just except that he has crossed over. I don't want to think that he is happy. Really the only reason I look for him is to confront him. Because of what he did my mother became depressed and permanently drunk.

Don't get me wrong! My mom is my best and only alive friend. No I don't have a best spirit friend because I can't get too attached to them. She was always sending me to doctors and specialists. I could never tell her what was going on. She was a total skeptic. I don't even think she believes in God. So I just let her be a mom. She is loving and always on my foot with band-aid waiting for my next fall. But sometimes she would go into her late at night "it's my entire fault" breakdowns. She would say things she didn't mean and I would hold her hair wile she puked, but I did the Jesus thing to do and forgave her.

So the drinking didn't scare me but showed me something very important. That I had to be the stable one. I had to be the adult.

But I am not stable. I only act stable for other people's sake. To tell you the truth I'm scared shitless and I was scarred. That was something else I could not tell her about. It would send her into a suicidal liquor binge if she knew every thing that has happened to me.

My mothers drinking damaged her judgment of men and income. So she found some bastard to shack up with so she could put food in my mouth. But unfortunately it also put bruises on my body. One of her jack ass boyfriends Phil is the worst. But with my luck he became her husband. She had no idea how sick and twisted he was. No he didn't do any sexual stuff. If there was one thing I learned from being abused was how to fight. So I'm a still a good little virgin but I have come close to rape. I just had to throw some punches.

But Phil had another faddish. He liked to cut me. Mostly on my back and top portion of my arms. He had only done it every once and awhile. He would carve the dates and these x's and hearts. All the wile he would hold me down and I would go limp.

I started sending some of my caspers to spook him and warn him to quit. So he did. But the scares never healed. I had a portrait on my body to remind me of what I have been through. I had a flesh tattoo. So every time a teacher or my mom would pat me on the back, every time my skin would sting from the shower I flinched at memory. But I do not take pity on myself because I don't have it that bad compared some other life stories out there. I don't think of myself as a tragedy.

But I was still scarred and scared. I wore a fake smile unless I was crying on a spirits shoulder. And when my mom and Phil announced our move to Florida I had my excuse to leave.

Charlie's mother lived in our old house in the town of Forks. She owned a bakery and played piano at the church. So she was probably sweet right? Plus the house might just hold Charlie.

I felt a little unsure leaving my mom alone with Phil, but he had never laid a hand on her so I would just hope that Renee would be ok. I disserved to have peace just like all my spirit friends.

So that's how I got were I am now. Landing in Forks. Now I'm starting over.


	3. Mema

Chapter 2: Mema

Disclaimer: I only own Mema! She is based on my great grandma! Oh and I'm still trying to figure out how this site works. So I didn't get any reviews! Someone help me!

"Please turn off all electronics and pull up all chairs. Do not remove your safety belt till the pilot turns of the yellow light. We will be landing momentarily. Thank you for choosing American Twilight Flight Airlines."

Thank god! I made it and not one spirit or nightmare. All I had to deal with was the crying baby behind me but I managed to drown it out with my ipod.

As I descended from the terminal I felt a tight pain in my chest. I realized it was because I wasn't breathing so I let out a gasp for breath. I must be more nervous than I thought.

What if she didn't like me? What If she new I was worn and ruined without even seeing my scares? What if she thought I looked nothing like Charlie and was disappointed? Or worse what if she thought I looked to much like him and it made her depressed. My mom had sent her pictures of me all through out my life. I was going to come visit her once but I was to busy playing mama for the mama.

It was to late now.

I searched for my name sign and found it. Standing behind the sign with a big goofy grin was Gertrude Swan. She was heavy set with wrinkled skin, and white hair pulled into a bun. Her brown eyes were very kind and seemed to twinkle. She wore a blue dress and an apron that had Mema's embroidered on across it. She sort of reminded me of a female Santa Clause.

She dropped the sign and ran faster then I have ever seen an old person run. I guess she new who I was.

Be for I could react I was being embraced by someone a head shorter than me. The wounds I had forgotten about stung as they met her hands. But for some strange reason I didn't flinch. It was as if she was healing them with her touch. She smelled of cookies, cake and bread. It was a very comforting. So I hugged her back with all my might hoping not to break her back. I noticed she was crying. Oh no this was exactly what I was afraid of. But to my surprise she was still smiling.

"Oh baby doll I'm so glad you're here!" she squealed in a sweet southern voice. Then her voice took a note of happiness and sadness all in one. "You're like a little piece of Charlie."

I didn't know what to say to that. I was in some sort of shock do to her kindness. All I could do was smile and nod. I felt suddenly saddened at the fact that it was clear she was not nor would she ever be over Charlie's death.

"Your just like him to he never talked much either. Here let me get a good look at you good lookin'!"

She held me out and took me in from head to toe. I was very nervous. This was the part I was dreading. I didn't want to be jugged what if she saw right through me?

"Woo wee! I'm gonna have to clean my gun for you hot stuff! Your gonna be beaten boys off with a stick!"

I had never had a complement like that. I didn't even talk to boys my own age. I felt a blush creep up my neck and settle in my cheeks. That mad her boom with laughter and made my cheeks even more stained.

"Thank you so much for letting me stay with you Gertrude. And I promise I wont mess bring boys in the house or stay out to late!" I did not want her to turn me back. For some reason I felt a security I had never felt before.

"Oh baby doll girls will be girls! And call me Mema everyone dose. You think you were gonna be callin' me by my name?" I shook my head and she laughed. "Come on lets get home than I can show you the bakery."

We made our way to the parking lot with my bags. It was raining much to my dismay. If there was one thing I missed about Phinox it was the sun. Not that it ever did anything for my pail skin.

I was shocked to see the type of car that Mema drove. I pictured her in something a little more old fashioned It was a BIG shiny cherry red truck. The tires looked like they came from monster truck. It had the entire pimp my ride accessories thing going on. I loved this thing. I wouldn't mind getting dropped off at school in this thing.

Mema laugh that jolly laugh of hers once again at the expression on my face. The next words that flew from her mouth took me by surprise.

"No babe this girl don't drive anything this new." She pooled the car kees from her pocket and jingled them in front of my face. "But this girl dose. Like your welcome present?!"

I felt like I was on the verge of tears. I was speechless. I couldn't accept this I was much too worthless.

"Mema, I love it but I cant except this!"

"Selfless just like him." She said to herself. I pretended not to here her and focused on gawking at the car with a million thoughts running through my mind.

She suddenly jumped off her train of thought.

"You better except it! I spent enough money on it!" she yelled with fake anger

"Oh no you didn't, did you?!" I asked in horror.

"No I'm just yanking ya!" she laughed. "A nice little Indian boy by the name of Jacob Black fixed it up for me. I can't wait for you to meet him! He's about your age." She said with a wink. Than she laughed once again at my blush

I guessed there was no refusing her so I gratefully accepted her gift.

The drive home was full of chatter and caching up. For some reason I didn't mind like I normally would. I was overwhelmed with happiness.

But when we pulled into the drive way all joy evaporated from the apnessphere. I intently tensed.

Mema looked at me with sadness in her eyes.

"Hell Izzy girl I'm just gonna go out and say this" she began in a distressed tone. I could tell she was racking her brain for the right words. "This is the house were your father took his life. So if you don't feel comfortable right now we can just turn around and go to the bakery. I have work to do any way."

I had to take advantage of this.

"No its fine I need to unpack you go on to work"

She squeezed my hand and nodded while stepping out of the truck and to

her own car.

"Ok baby doll your room is the top window. I trust you can find it?" She hollered while getting in her car. I nodded and she turned out into the street. She waved one more time before disappearing behind the many trees.

As soon as she was out of sight I felt a chill run up my spine. I spun around to face the yellow house with a rap around porch.

I timidly walked towards the house preparing my self for what ever was inside.

I before I stepped on the last steps which lead to the screen door my back began to burn. I felt the knife on my skin and his terrible voice at my ear.

I was so messed up. I was so scarred. But Mema seemed to make things a lot more bearable. With that encouragement I opened the door.


	4. poltergeists,Mall cops, & love! oh my!

HEY YALL

HEY YALL! Thanks to all who reviewed and thanks to cem1818 for sparking my idea for this chapter!

Disclaimer: all the credit goes to Meyer.-tear- I only own Mema the mall cop and store manager

The house had that same smell of baked goods. It had a southern charm and cozy feel to it, kinda like Mema.

It was incredibly chilly and the Mema smell was replaced with something I couldn't quite identify. I got that feeling that I knew well. That feeling that I was being watched. I knew when any one came into a room. I had never gone to one of those physic labs before but I knew I was extra absorbent and sensitive to things.

I waited but I couldn't see the spirit .This was the weirdest sensation. There was a presence clearly in the room. Why couldn't I see them? They must be teasing me.

What if it was Charlie? I had to communicate.

"Don't be afraid come out I can help" I began "I can see you I will help just come out!"

Before I could even blink the front door had swung open. There was a slight dent in the wall. This was great. I can't stand poltergeists. They would sometimes try to spook me but I was way too used to bumps in the night. I didn't even flinch at scary movies. I did flinch at hugs though. I would forgive it though it was probably making sure I could see it. This one was strong enough to leave a dent and that was also weird. They could normally only do small things unless they were truly pissed. They were always so winy once I got them to come out. What if Charlie was a poltergeist?

I would have to try later.

Alice's pov

Everyone in town was already gossiping about her arrival and she would just be getting here today. I had only lived here 2 years and I new every ones personal life updates and every thing that's happened in this town in the past 50 years. Mema had always been a hot topic around town just because of her son. Rumors flue But she never let it get to her. I admired her a lot for that. I think everyone else did to cause the whole town loved her.

_OMC! I love this top!_

I was making my way through the store (designer of course!) when I was hit with a vision.

_Edward and that knew girl Isabella were laying in a small clearing. He was sparkling right in front of her! Rosalie is going to be so pissed! Wow I think I need to by her a new wardrobe._

_Wait a minute._

_I've never seen that look in his eyes. He thinks it's funny to watch girls swoon over him but he has never even given them a chance._

_"What are you thinking?" Edward asked. Why would Edward ask her a question like that? He already knows. _

_OH.MY.CARISILE. I know that look. I've seen it in jaspers eyes. It's love!_

"Excuse me mam are you ok?"

I quickly snapped out of it.

"YES EVERYTHING IS AWESOME! IT'S LOVE! IT'S LOVE! HE IS FINALLY HAPPY!" I squealed jumping up and down.

She looked at me like I was crazy but she was slightly awed by my voice.

Before I could think I ran form the store to go and find out more about Isabella. I caught myself and slowed down and I realized I still had the top in my hand. I turned and saw the store manager and the mall cop walking my way with their eyes in slits

I spotted a snobby girl who had it out for me at school. I think her name was Lauren. Oh she was the one that through herself on Emmett, Edward, _and_ JASPER!

"Marry Christmas!" I said throwing the shirt into her hands. I suddenly didn't want it anymore.

I ran from the mall but I could swear I could hear her being tackled by the security guard.

I smiled to myself and made my way to Mema's house blocking my thoughts the whole way there.

_At Mema's house_

I looked up at the old yellow house. I had never been inside it. Edward, the boys, and his guy friends would come over and do her yard for her. The closest I've got to it was the porch. I asked her if she wanted help with the house work but she told me a southern girl needed a little work to do her self. I had a feeling she just didn't want anyone in it and I didn't blame her.

I made my way inside. It felt cozy and tragic at the same time and smelled just like Mema. I went to the closet to see if she had any photo albums. I found a couple. Their weren't many of Isabella but I found one. The back was dated September 13th 1987. It was a picture of a man who I assumed was Charlie holding a baby. I couldn't imagine a man that looked so happy in this picture could be depressed enough to kill him self.

I heard a car approaching. I quickly slid inside the closet were I got the pictures.

I could her them speeking of her father. By the way her voice sounded I could tell she was timid and shy. I heard Mema speed away.

She entered the house and I peeked through the crack in the door. She was more beautiful than the vision gave her credit for. She had mahogany hair that went to her waist. Her eyes were brown like Mema but were unique some how. She was pale enough to be a vampire herself and I could see her veins pulsing with blood. I quickly swallowed the venom in my thought and concentrated on keeping my thoughts blocked. Isabella looked so prepared for something.

She stiffened for a second then stated "Don't be afraid come out I can help"

Oh my Carlisle could she see? me I stopped breathing.

"I can see you I can help just come out!" she was clearly annoyed

Well she answered my question and that was all I needed. I was out of there before she could blink.

What did she mean by she could help? Help with what?

I had to stop thinking about her I was almost home. The family would be pissed if they new I stocked a human.

If I was lucky she would just think I was a ghost or something.

What ya think?? REVIEW! They are my fuel to keep going.


	5. Gone with the wind

I couldn't wait to post this so hear is chapter 4

Disclaimer: only in my dreams would Edward and Bella be mine. But Mema is all mine!

Why wouldn't this spirit just come out and play? I was extremely bored. Wait what if Charlie didn't want me around? Why should I try to get his attention? Well I would give him his space. I couldn't feel him anymore so I focused on doing something else.

I had been touring the house. I went in every room but _one_. The one were it happened. I even went in the basement. I decided to start unpacking my room.

The room was frozen in time but you could tell Mema fixed it up and made it a little more modern. The walls were a baby blue and the ceiling was peeked. Mema had put florescent lighting in. On the wall with the door was a fool sized bed with a white headboard. A cross hung above it. Directly across the bed was a wall with a single window with yellow lacey curtains that were probably there when I was a baby. It over looked the front lawn. Next to that was an ocher bookshelf. On the left side of the room were a desk sat, I noticed a brand new lab top. I would have to pay Mema back one day. On the right side of the room was a white dresser with a mirror and a rocking chair I was positive was from my baby days.

I made my way to the 3 boxes that were sent here before I arrived. I pooled out my books and journals and started putting them on the bookshelf. I was beginning to get bored so I plugged in my ihome and turned up some SCHOOL BOY HUMOR and continued to unpack. I put my cloths in the dresser and the little make up I had on top of it. I took out a framed picture of me, my mom, and Phil. My back and arms began to tingle. I felt my tear dots awaken. I took the picture, ripped his head off, and then set it on the dresser.

"Home again, home again!" said a singsong voice.

I quickly got up turned down the music and ran to greet Mema.

"I'm so sorry about the music!" I apologized while pounding down the stairs

"No baby doll! I can tap my toe to that!" she replied. I had to laugh at that. Hey that was the first time I laughed in a long time.

"Thank you for the lab top Mema." I said

"Thank you for accepting! I thought you would argue again." She mused "Edward, be a dear and bring those bags on the porch for me. I got someone I want you to meet!"

"Yes mam!" said a musical velvety voice.

I heard the screen porch door slam. Then I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen.

He had pail skin that reminded me of whip cream. He had a masterpiece worthy face with chiseled features. His bronze hair was amazingly tussled. If I weren't on the stairs he would probably be a foot faller then me. Then I noticed his beautiful onyx eyes held by shadows. He looked about my age. Good god this was America's next male top model.

Mema walked into the room from the kitchen and took in the seen before her. A smirk spread across her face due to the fact that I was drooling and he was staring at me intently. Oh no he was staring at me! I quickly straitened up. To my surprise he didn't look disgusted. He looked frustrated and curious. Is that awe I see in his eyes? No it couldn't be.

Mema sauntered toward me with a knowing look on her face. She crooked her finger to whisper something in my ear.

"Oh yes darlin' its chip and dales everyday for Mema."

I could feel my face turning red. Half of it was blush the other half was effort to keep myself from booming with laughter. There was know way he could have heard her but his perfect lips started to twitch.

"Bella this is Edward Cullen. Edward this is Bella." She introduced us while leading me onto the porch and returning to the kitchen.

"Hello Bella, welcome to forks." He said putting out his hand.

I couldn't come up with a coherent response. I felt a wonderful tingling sensation that I had never felt before when he said my name. All I could do was grin like an idiot and reach for his hand.

As soon as his skin touched mine I felt electricity shoot through my skin. I gasped much to my embarrassment.

_Please don't blush, please don't blush, please don't blush…_

He quickly pulled his hand away. I felt empty without it there.

"SCHOOL BOY HUMOR huh?" he said with a breath taking smile that could make a nun curse.

All I could do was smile wider. _Smooth Bella…._

I was about to say something when a gust of wind blew my hair across my face.

He instantly looked ready to kill. I was terrified at the expression on his face and the fury in his black eyes. His hands balled into fists and his knuckles turned even whiter. All I could do was stand there like his prey.

"I have to go" he said curtly.

And with that he was gone.

What did I do? I don't understand.

I quickly scolded myself for even getting my hopes up. Of course he could see how used and messed up I was. Plus he was way out of my league in the first place. But still it angered me. He didn't even know me. Ugh I was so pathetic letting have this effect on me. My back and arms began to burn and I felt tears run down my face. I wiped them away and went to face Mema.

"Well baby doll what did ya think of that man candy! He goes to your school ya know?"

I plastered a fake sad smile to my face. "Ummmm…yeah he's cool" I said lamely.

She looked at me with worried eyes.

"Child I know when one of my ducklings is hurten', tell mema what's wrong." No one had ever asked me what was wrong before. "What did that boy do?!" she stomped over to a big barrel gun leaned on the wall by the pantry. Apparently Mema was gun shy.

"NO No no! I'm just tiered. I think I'm going to skip dinner and go to bed." I said quickly.

She stopped in her tracks and looked at me skeptically.

"Ok but you'll have a big breakfast. Get some rest you start school tomorrow."

I cringed at the word _school_. I could only imagine the rumors that had already been spread about my family. She noticed and made her way over to kiss my forehead.

"It's ok baby doll. If it don't kill ya it will make ya stronger. Now go get some shut eye. Mema loves you."

I was melting in her words of love. How could she love me so fast? I knew I loved mema too.

"Love you. Goodnight" and with that I went up stairs to face the night mares. I had to face hell tomorrow.

I would have to face _Edward._

Well? Mema is just like my Mema. Including the gun shy part. Hurry up and review so I can hurry up and update. I'm doing the next chapter in Edwards's pov!


	6. Hell's Angel

OME

OME! HEY TIQUITOES! That's my new name for yall! I _thought_ I was going to cry when I was reading my reviews they were so nice! I'm putting a lot of Ok this is the last chapter in Edward's pov. Umm I'm kina putting a lot of funny stuff in so do yall think I should put humor as one of the genres?? Hey how do you put pictures on your profile??

So many questions!

Why did she keep on blocking her thoughts from me? I hope she knows it makes me even more suspicious.

"Alice will you stop all ready I'm sick of listening to Tina Turner at least think of another song."

Of course just like Alice, she ignored me.

"Edward today is the day Mema goes to the market. You should go help her!"

"Yeah sure"

I loved Mema. She always had kind thoughts. Except for the fact that she had the hots for me. Then again so did most of the girls at school. Ugh they were so super-ficial.

_At the market….._

"Oh my Eddie! I think I dropped my credit card. Be a dear and pick it up for me, I don't want to throw my back out."

"Of course you don't."

Well I had to give her a little show I guess. I bent down to pick up the credit card. I smirked at her expression and the acceleration of her heart beat. I jumped back up and gave her a crooked grin while handing her the card, than walked away with a strut.

"_God bless America…"_ she sighed in her head.

I had to bite my lip to keep from barking a laugh.

She caught up with me and began to talk about her granddaughter _again._

"I know there was something going on I could see it in her eyes! And the way she apologizes like I'm gonna lash out on her. Something is fishy and I'm gonna find out what it is!"

"I'm sure you will Mema." I sighed opening her door for her.

_At Mema's house…._

"Edward be a dear and bring those bags on the porch. I got someone I want you to meet!" Mema yelled.

I didn't bother asking her if she wanted me to bring them in her house. I was surprised she even let her granddaughter inside. I heard one of my favorite bands playing inside.

As soon as I reached the porch steps I smelled the wondrous sent of freesia. I Opened up the screen porch and put the bags by the porch swing.

And then I laid eyes on the most beautiful creature I had ever seen. I could swear my dead heart just picked up its beat.

She had a heart face with full pink lips I wish I could kiss. Her mahogany hair cascaded to her waist like a waterfall. Her body was soft slender and full ant the same time. Her skin was perfect and pail. I could even se her veins. I ignored my sudden thirst and focused on her again. Her eyes were brown pools and I was drowning in them. But she was in some sort of pain. I wonder what?

Wait a minute. Why am I wondering? I can't hear her!

This was extremely odd. This has never happened before. Its so frustrating!

Mema began to whisper something in her ear….

"That's right baby doll its ship and dales every day for Mema."

Her cheeks blushed beautifully with a pool of blood. My stomach began to tighten and my throat began to burn. I would ignore it for her. Plus I was still shuddering at what Mema had just said, but I had to admit it was funny.

"Bella this is Edward Cullen. Edward this is Bella."

_Ahhh…..Bella. It rolls off the tough. _"Hello Bella, Welcome to Forks." I felt a unfamiliar tingle when I said her name. And I liked it.

She smiled again, shooting me once again with the cupid arrow.

I reached for her hand to shake. As soon as my hand embraced her hand, a electricity shot straight through me. I felt _ALIVE. _I quickly pulled my hand away as she did. I felt empty with out it there.

I was so tough tied. I hated this and loved it at the same time. But for the first time in my afterlife I don't know what to say. I had to say something. I realized I hadn't heard her voice. I wanted to so badly I picked a question. I remembered that

"SCHOOL BOY HUMMOR huh?" she looked at me with an odd expression on her face.

I was apparently not being _smooth _enough. I just wanted to hear her voice!

A gust of wind blew her beautiful hair across her face.

Then it hit me. Her sent of freesia was intensified. It was mouth watering. I wanted to suck her dry…..I'm going to kill her….but look at those eyes.

After working up enough will power to speak I said "I have to go." It was dripping with hatred.

And with that I was out of there.

What had I almost done? I had almost killed her. That would of killed Mema. That would have ruined my family.

I was such a monster. How could I want to hurt an angle? But she was a monster too.

She was obviously sent by somebody. Maybe the Devil? It all worked out. She was beautiful and mysterious so I was drawn to her then here blood would ruin me.

I had to get out of here. Even though she was a demon she was also an angle. She was Hell's Angle. I could not hurt her.

I turned in the direction of Denali. I picked up Alice's sent and finally her thoughts.

"_Edward doesn't! I didn't see this I'm sorry! You can't do this your being so selfish! This will kill Esme. If it doesn't ruin you it will make you stronger!"_

She was right I slowed to a walk. I took my shirt off and let the rain beet on my frigid skin, washing my sins away.

I would have to consume every thing in the forest before school.

Tomorrow I would have to face Hell's Angle. I would have to face _Bella._

Well? Props or drops? Thirsty for more? I was thinking of making Edward leave but I just couldn't – COMMA OF THOUGHT


	7. Rise With The Sun

"Shhhhh…

If you haven't noticed I am a fast updater. I just hate it when people starve me so I'm trying to be nice to yall. I love all the reviews telling me the story was unique and stuff. I think I spelled Angel wrong a couple of times in the last chapter. So sorry. Hey someone tell me how to get pictures for the story on my profile! Thanks Tiquitoes! – COMMA OF THOUGHT

"_Shhhhh….. Something to remember me by……"_

_The man across the room watched me with pity in his eyes as Phil began his cutting. Why wouldn't he help me? Maybe he was a spirit. He was good looking for a man his age. He looked so familiar….._

BANG BANG BANG!

"RISE AND SHINE VALINTINE!" Mema shouted while beating on the inside of a mettle trashcan. She was all ready dressed and ready for the day in an outfit similar to yesterday.

I had totally forgotten were I was. Mema's voice made me feel a little less shaken by my nightmare. I looked at the clock. It read 5:45!

"Mema you are not on a farm anymore, go back to sleep." I groaned throwing the pillow over myself. I did not want to go back to sleep, but just lay there. I was still tiered but sleep disturbed me rather than rested me.

"Not in this house baby doll! We rise with the sun. Your big breakfast is ready. You didn't eat dinner last night and you look mal nourished. You need to fatten up! Now come on get!" and with that she pooled the covers right off me.

I groaned and crumpled out of bed. She wasn't taking no for an answer. I made my way over to the dresser and looked in the mirror. I still had a sheet of sweat covering my skin from my nightmare.

The nightmare. What did it mean??

I didn't want to think about it anymore. I turned my ihome up and got dressed to some Escape the Fate. I normally didn't pay much attention to my appearance but today was different. If I was going to be a loser I might as well look good doing it.

Put on some eye make up on and some clear lip gloss. At my old school we had to wear uniforms so I had no idea what I was doing. I grabbed a pair of jeans and a black bolted belt. I pulled on a blue long sleeved Boys like Girls shirt. The shirt ended below my belly button exposing my tattoo and the ending of my belly button ring. Yes that's right I had a belly button ring and a tattoo that Phil did not inflict. Those ended at my shoulder blades. The tattoo was two grim reaper axes crossed together by vines with a rose in the middle on the small of my back. I had it all done for my sweet sixteen at a Pearl Jam concert that I attended by myself of course. I decided on leaving my hair down. I put in stud on my nose that I had done myself. Lastly I slipped on some plain black convers. I had the whole punkish thing going on. I thought of throwing a hoodie over every thing but I decided to start with a bang.

I knew they had been talking about my family and mostly about talked shit about my mother. Mema told me the worst one was that she ran off and became a hooker. So I would give them there show and maybe they would leave me alone.

I grabbed my bag and headed down stairs. Mema left a note saying that she went to bakery to start the day. I felt weird not cooking for myself. If you ever see Renee with a spatula I would run in the opposite direction.

When I put the smiley face pancakes in my mouth all my troubles melted away. No wonder people paid good money for her food. I suddenly regretted skipping dinner last night. It probably would of made me feel better.

_Last night._

Oh god. He would be there. Now that I think about it, I didn't care. He had no right to judge me even if he was correct. If he even talked to me I would just give him the cold shoulder. I grabbed my kees and headed out to Elmo (I named my truck).

I started up my car. The sound would have made me jump if I wasn't so used to being scared. I began to back out of the drive way.

"Good morning" a voice called from my passenger seat.

Muuuhahahahaha!! I had to leave yall wanting something right??

U + REVIEW UPDATE!


	8. Jared

I was laughing at my reviews so hard my fingers started to type the next chapter

I was laughing at my reviews so hard my fingers started to type the next chapter.

Disclaimer: I only own Jared. He is based on one of my..ummmm….friends.

"_Good morning." A voice said from the passenger seat._

I slammed on the breaks and turned to face the right.

There in the passenger side was a boy. He looked to be about 13. He had jet black hair that reminded me of a raven's wing, making purple and blue in the light. He had tanned skin. He had probably lived by the reservation up in la push. He was wearing a white hospital gown with an arrogant smirk plastered across his face. Thought he spooked me did he?

"Well I hope you had your fun. You didn't even scare me." I said in an annoyed tone.

He looked at me with surprise. He quickly snapped out of it and looked like a boy on his first date.

"Hot girl? You can see me? I knew it! I knew there was something different about you!" He realized what he had just said smacked himself in the forehead.

I bit back a laugh and continued to back out.

"Nice try but its Bella." I stated "that's not what I hear. It's Isabella." he said matter of factly. "And just how do you know that?" I asked.

Than it all clicked.

"You've been watching me! You were the one that slammed the front door?!" I accused. "I didn't slam any door! I only watched you this morning! I swear it! There wasn't even a poltergeist when I got there! The house was totally empty" he defended.

I felt bad for a minute. Then once I realized something I slammed on the brakes.

"This morning?! As in when I was getting dressed?!" his eyes went wide has Sossers.

"Well…..ummm….you see….I..I" he sounded way to guilty.

"Gosh your such a little pervert!" I yelled beginning to speed. "Nice try but its Jared. And have a little respect for the dead!"

"Oh I have plenty of respect for the dead, just not the dirty hormoned skeeses!" I bellowed. "Aoowch!" he screeched touching his heart with a hurt look on his face. A grin spread across his face "you sexy thang!" I rolled my eyes at his comment and continued driving. "Feisty…." He said under his breath. He was such a smart ass.

"listen why don't you cross over…. I would if I were you." I felt the sadness in my voice and I know he heard it to. "hey I'm staying here as long as I can. Wouldn't you? Aren't you scared of what's on the other side?" he said curiously.

"No. I have faith." I hesitated for a moment "To tell you the truth I don't really care what happens to me." I said timidly. I pretended to look for the school trying to avoid his surprised gaze.

All of a sudden a look of understanding came into his eyes. "Who did those things to you?" he asked trying to word it carefully.

I tensed suddenly. What the hell was I doing? Well he was just a spirit. "Phil" I tried to say it in a monotone voice but my voice cracked.

He could tell I would say no more on that subject. He perked up right away as if nothing had happened. "Come on turn that frown upside down!" he cooed.

I couldn't help the smile that spread across my face. He was really good at switching subjects.

"Ok my turn to confess something." He said. "What you watched me in the shower too?" I interrupted sarcastically. "No" he said lowering his head.

"But I do need your help." He said seriously. I raised my eyebrow for him to continue. "I could have had the best doctor in forks help with my cancer, but my family refused to have him help just because of some stupid legends." He paused and turned to look at me with pleading look in his brown Indian eyes. "I need to know if the legends are _true_. Because If I don't find out the answer…..I will never rest in peace." He finished.

I sighed. He was a nusense but I liked this kid. "Ok" I answered.

A smirk grew across his face and a twinkle of hope entered his eyes. He crossed his feet on my dashboard and crossed his arms behind his head as I pulled into the parking lot to hell. He reminded me of a sleeping monkey in a hammock.

"This is the beginning of a beautiful friendship." He sighed

REVIEW OR I WILL SICK MY VAMPIRE ON YO ASS! JK! :p


	9. Ripped

Ok so my mom said I could stay on the computer longer so I typed this up for yall. This was a lot better then dancing! Ok here you go…..

Disclaimer: Nothing is mine. I'm gonna go crawl in a corner now.

Epov

"_You can do this, you can do this, you can-" _

"Alice, shut up!" I yelled.

I really didn't want to think about what I was about to do.

"Well sorry! I was just trying to make you feel better!" she said with a hurt look in her eyes.

"I know. Sorry." I said gruffly. I knew she meant no harm, but I was just frustrated. This would be a lot better if I could read her thoughts.

Alice new that was the end of the conversation and proceeded to her locker leaving me dreaming in a comma of thought.

I sat at the useless picnic tables. I felt a lot better today and for a second I stopped worrying about blood lust and started worrying about her. I defiantly knew how to be charming and talk to girls which I normally didn't do much (all I had to do was wink) ;). But Bella wasn't just a girl, but a goddess. A goddess I probably ruined everything.

I cursed myself. I had been so rude. I had probably mad that pained look a lot worse.

_That look….what was that look?_

I had to know more about her she was so intriguing. I could tell she was shy by the way she was standing on her staircase last night. But I could also tell she had a fire in her by her cloths and that little glint in her eye that was not internal agony.

Mike plopped down next to me. Mike was ok but sometimes I could not stand his perverted thoughts.

_I wander what Ms.Cope looks like naked. Well that's another one to see old boy._

Ugh. Ok I take that back worrisomely perverted.

"Sup Cullen? You here that Isabella girl starts today? I think she will either be some tight catholic school girl wench or a hot whore, but full of STD. You know what they say about her mom don't you?"

Ok I take back everything unless it included perverted. Mike was simply the spawn of satin. And I would love nothing more then to rip him to shreds just for talking about her. Oh god. Mike would go for her. I would have passed out in realization if hadn't been a vampire.

At that moment a pretty nice red truck came into view. It seemed like the kind that would take out my car, but didn't stand a chance against me.

"Dude that guy must get more ass then a toilet seat in that truck!" Mike exclaimed with a hint of jealousy.

It was then that we BOTH noticed that the beautiful human in the car was no dude. The car came to a stop at the other end of the parking lot.

Out stepped Bella.

She wore a shirt that advertised one of my favorite bands that reviled her perfect flat stomach. My eyes did not stay on the shirt for very long. She turned around to lock her door. On her back was a tattoo that I had never seen, and had never thought of a girl having. I felt my eyes turning green just looking at it. She turned to walk toward the door swishing her long hair around her body. I noticed she had a belly button ring.

As she walked toward the doors she looked right at me. She burned her eyes into mine. She intimidated me even though I could tell she was sweet. Sure she had that whole 'don't fuck with me look' but she look so innocent.

Mike was drooling as I blocked his thoughts in fear that I might kill him if I listened. Eric Yorky approached behind us. I quickly blocked his thoughts. I wanted to keep him as a friend believe it or not.

"There is a god and he loves the boys of Forks High very much." He said dazed in Bella's sway that she was oblivious to.

I was about to scold them when that dangerously wonderful sent hit me for the second time. God, she smelled good in the rain!

I balled my fists in restraint. This was not as bad as yesterday but it was hell. I tried to keep the fury, pain, and frustration from my eyes. I had to get out of here before I ruined it again.

That's when I realized the impish glint in Mike's eyes. I could not let him do any thing, but I could not stay. Gawww! I'm being ripped apart.

At that moment her stride broke and she tripped over thin air.

I had to catch her.

Like? Review and I will feed you more!


	10. Bitches and friends

Hello ground I new we would be meeting soon

I loved the reviews and decided to reward yall! I'm so sorry about my spelling and stuff! I really worked on it in this chapter, and I will defiantly try harder. So here you go…..

Disclaimer: Sadly I own nothing but Annabelle and Jared in this chapter

Hello ground I new we would be meeting soon. I was so lost in Edwards eyes I tripped over thin air. I was about to make contact with the concrete when two muscled ice cold limbs encircled my waist. I felt better than I had when Mema hugged me. I was healed in every way and no one could get me.

I turned to see my savior. Edward. How had he gotten over here so fast?

He was not as pail and the bruises under his eyes had faded. But his eyes. They were topaz. Yet they were still filled with hatred and frustration. That snapped me back into reality. As much as I didn't want to I jerked away from him. He had no right to be so rude.

"Thanks" I said curtly.

The look of hatred quickly disappeared and he looked shocked. He opened his perfect mouth to speak but was interrupted by the voice of a baby faced boy with blonde spiked hair.

"Wooooo yeeaahh! Go Eddie! He went flying to get some of that! Oh hey sweetie! I'm Mike your make-out teacher."

I was disgusted. I had never been hit on, but I don't think I like it. I felt myself blush and I quickly walked/ran for my life towards the door. I slammed right into a blonde girl with a fake tan.

"Ahh! You klutz! Watch were your going!" here scream attracted many stares and we soon had an audience. Great. A smirk spread across her make-up caked face at her opportunity to humiliate me.

"Oh! You're the newbie! Well that's a shame we were hoping for a human not a piece of trash!" she said in a nasal voice laughing at her own joke. All of her little goonies giggled at her and did this stupid little hand shake thing.

I blushed and looked down. I was a piece of trash. I could not argue with her. But I had come to escape this not to endure it by different people. All the furry seemed to bubble up to my mouth with a sudden burst of confidence.

"Oh! You're the Bitch! Well that's a shame I was hoping for something worth more than a one night stand to torment me!" I blurted. Holy crap did I just say that. The crowd erupted into a combination of 'ooo's' and 'Burned'. Some even started to clap. She must do this a lot.

She stuck her nose in the air and let out a humpf before walking past me wile bumping my shoulder purposely. The last girl in her little group skanks stopped and faced me. She was several inches shorter then my 5ft 4 with curly black hair, and a painted on face.

"No one talks to Lauren Malory that way!" she spat. I didn't even let the useless comment get to me. Instead I smiled pleasantly at her which made her furious. She turned and stomped back to the loyal band of followers.

I quickly turned and made my way through the crowd. All eyes were on me. Their stares were any were from lust to jealousy to awe. I ignored them and went to find a bathroom to hide in.

I locked the stall behind me and pooled out the schedule Mema gave to me yesterday. As I was reading I felt like I was being watched. I snapped my head up to see Jared.

"Dude that was awesome! You totally schooled that whore!" he yelled.

I smiled and responded.

"Thanks Jared, but did you ever think that I could actually be using the bathroom?"

"That's crazy girls don't use the bathroom!" he said with a smirk on his face. "Besides I wouldn't mind." I rolled my eyes at his perverted comment.

"Well I do. And you can't bother me at school ok?" I didn't want to hurt his feelings and it would be great to lean on him, but I couldn't handle the distraction. He looked down as his face fell and nodded. I reached out to hug him and his face lit up. That clearly made his day.

"Fine but I'll be there when you get home." Then he was gone.

I realized that same smell that was in the house was back. I shook my head and opened the stall.

I came face to face with a beautiful pixie with black spiked hair.

"Who were you talking to?" she chirped, in a voice just as beautiful as she was. "umm I was just umm talking to myself?" _that was convincing. _

"Right. I'll find out later. For now let me introduce myself. I'm Alice Cullen." She said "I'll save you a seat at lunch! See you!" she left the bathroom almost as fast as Jared did.

"Wow, you have a pretty picture on your back." I turned around to see were the sweet little voice came from. Right at the end of my hip was a little girl. She had long dark hair that went to her hips pulled back into a braid. She wore a purple bathing suit with little fish all over it.

"Thank you. I like your bathing suit. What is your name?" I asked bending down to her eye level.

She looked up at me in shock. "You can hear me?" she asked. I nodded. "Oh! My name is Annabelle! Annabelle Helene Weber!" she announced formally.

"Hello Annabelle I'm Bella Swan." "Hey your name is in my name!" she squealed. I smiled at her. "What are you doing in a big kid school?" I asked out of curiosity. Had she died here? By the looks of it she had probably drown. "I followed my big sissy! Her name is Angela, and she is pretty and nice just like you! Oh, here she comes now!" I turned around just in time for a tall girl with hair just like the little girl to enter the bathroom. She looked down and I could tell she was shy just like me. Maybe even scarred like me. She looked like she was working up the guts to tell me something.

"umm…I..I think what you did to Lauren was really cool" she said timidly. I smiled at her.

"Yeah I kind of surprised myself. I'm not normally like that." She looked up at me. "I'm Bella" I said offering my hand. She took it, grateful that I was accepting her as I was grateful that she was accepting me.

"Angela" she said. "What do you have first?" she asked. I looked down at my schedule. "Trig" I answered. "Me to" she said with a slight smile.

At that moment the bell rang and we both shot out of the bathroom side by side.

Call me crazy, but I think I just made my first living friend.

The next four periods were pretty much the same. Everyone stared at me and some introduced those selves. I continued to get those stupid pick up lines, but Angela would normally save me.

We were walking to lunch when the pixie girl, Alice, danced over to us. Hey Bella! Hey Angela! Come sit with us!" she grabbed our hands and pulled us toward her full table.

Her grip was abnormally strong and freezing.

She plopped us down in two seats and sat next to me.

I looked up and right across me was none other than Mr. Drive Me Crazy himself. I looked him right in the eye prepared for the furious glare, but the pools of golden seemed to be……kind?

I thought that was a good place to stop. What do ya think is gonna happen? Review and maybe I'll tell you. 


	11. Bi Polar?

I was bored so I typed this up. i didn't really try on this chapter but I really want yall to like it.

Disclaimer: don't own nothing

"Hello" he said in a nice but guarded voice. I looked up at him in awe that he would talk to me in public. Than I remembered how angry I was. I didn't even bother answering him. Instead I shot up to get my lunch.

To my surprise he got up at the exact same time and followed me. I could have sworn I heard him growl when we passed a table of boys. I stood in line and I could feel his eyes burning into my back.

"What are you doing here?" I asked.

"I have to eat too." He said. He had an odd smile on his face as if he was laughing at a inside joke.

I felt my self blush, and turned around to get my food and pay. When we entered the cafeteria the table was totally disserted. I looked around for everyone but found no one.

"Do you eat standing up?" Edward said in a beautifully annoying voice. I ignored him and walked to the table and sat down. "Happy now?" I asked in an irritated voice.

"Yes I am. You have quite the temper." That wasn't a question. God he was so full of it!

"Were is everybody?" I asked. I wished Angela would save me. Maybe I shouldn't have sent Jared home.

"What are you thinking?" he asked curiously. What was with this guy? One second he looks at me like a Phil used to, and the next he is perfectly polite. Maybe even flirting? No it couldn't be.

"Are you Bi Polar?" I asked. He looked taken aback by my weird question. Than by the look in his eyes I would say that he realized how unweird the question was.

"No I am not. But I am however terribly rude. I would like to apologize for my behavior towards you." He said sincerely. Wow I was not expecting that. I realized how 1900's that formal apology was and couldn't help but laugh. He looked at me like I was crazy. After awhile he musically laughed with me. Why was I laughing so hard? It wasn't even that funny and I've never laughed like this in my whole life. I felt like such a goof ball but I couldn't stop laughing. Was I possibly……happy?

"What……are….we …..laughing….at?" he asked between laughs. I composed my self enough to answer. "That sounded so 1900's!" I laughed. He stopped abruptly and than laughed even harder. His laugh seemed to enchant me and all of his rude actions were forgotten.

"That the oddest thing to be laughing about." He said. I composed my self once again before getting back down to business.

"I forgive you." I said. He looked at me with relief that I accepted his apology. He was silent for a moment and I took advantage of it and began to eat.

"so….are we friends?" I asked timidly. I had never said those words to anyone, but I had to know. He looked shocked for a moment and than he looked extremely frustrated. He looked like he was having a bloody battle with himself. Finally he answered my question.

"I don't know." And with that the lunch bell rang and he was out of the cafeteria before anyone could sit up.

Well that didn't answer my question.

Like my short lil chap? Come on lets get those reviews Rollin!


	12. That Terrible Day

Well this is a very important chapter to the story so Pay close attention

Well this is a very important chapter to the story so Pay close attention.

This chapter is dedicated to my sister Jamie (RIP)

Angela's pov

Alice had always smiled at me and stuff, but she really was very nice. I trusted her but when everyone wanted to leave Bella and Edward alone I didn't want to be around those people without Bella.

I made my way into the bathroom waving bye to Alice. I examined myself in the mirror. If only I shrunk about 4 inches I would be shorter then Ben! Well that was a dream that would never come true.

Suddenly I felt cold. Then I smelled it. That smell that was somewhere in between candy and baby safe shampoo. It was Annabelle's smell.

I felt my heart ache slightly as I remembered that terrible day…………

**5 years earlier. Angela is 12**

_Annabelle splashed in the pond pulling at her uncomfortable floaties. Angela was babysitting her while her parents went to Seattle for the day. It was a rare sunny day in Forks. It would be so much more enjoyable with if Angela would pull her head out of her science far project and go play with Annabelle._

_Annabelle loved and admired everything about Angela. She hoped one day that she would grow as tall as her and maybe even get those things called boobies that Angela never liked to talk about with Mommy._

_Annabelle was becoming extremely bored and wanted Angela to come and hold her in the deep water so that she could take off her floaties._

"_Angy! Come splash!" Annabelle said cheerfully. _

"_Uh ok hold on a minute.." Angela said slightly annoyed. Not that she didn't want to spend time with Annabelle, but the science far was in two days and she had to get it done._

"_Come splash now!" Annabelle giggled kicking and splashing all over Angela's s project._

_All the ink on the poster had smeared and her research papers and books were soaked and ruined. Angela could not contain her temper._

"_You stupid little baby! You ruined all my hard work! You are such a twerp!" Angela outraged. _

_Annabelle burst into tears. She hadn't meant to do it. It was just an accident._

_Angela grunted and went to go cool off before she apologized. She found a tree and sank down to the ground leaning against it. She began to plan what she would say to Annabelle. Little did she know that she wouldn't have the chance……_

_Annabelle ran the words that Angela had spoken through her head. One last tear landed into the deep pond before when she realized that she was angry._

"_I'm not a baby!" she said to herself. "I'll show her. I can even swim without floaties!"_

_She pulled her floities off with shaking hands. She panicked when she immediately started sinking. She began to doggy paddle calling Angela's name helplessly. She was too exhausted to be heard. Soon she went limp and let the water take her, calling Angela's name the whole way down._

_Angela sauntered back to the bank of the pond feeling a little better. She noticed Annabelle's absence right away. She screamed her name._

_No response._

_This was not a funny joke. All of Angela's anger came back. Annabelle would pay when she found her. That was the only problem. She couldn't find her._

_At that moment Angela turned and laid eyes on the horrific seen before her._

_Annabelle's lifeless body laid face down floating in the pond. _

"_Annabelle!" Angela said running to her little sister. Her world fell down around her as the guilt hit her in the stomach._

_Her hands were weak as she tried to practice the little CPR she new. After about five minutes of useless work she felt her heartbeat._

_No response._

_Her little sister was gone._

**Later that day. At the ER.**

_Angela waited in the lobby of the hospital for her parents. She needed desperately for them to wake her from this nightmare. Annabelle would wake her up singing any minute now, she told herself. But this was reality. She at least needed them to lie to her and tell her it wasn't her fault._

_Angela's father barged through the automatic doors with hate and grief in his eyes._

_Before Angela could say anything she was being picked up and shook by her father._

"_YOU STUPID GIRL! YOU WERE SOPPOSED TO WATCH HER! CAN YOU DO ANYTHING RIGHT?!"_

_No response._

**4 days later. At the funeral. **

_Angela had not spoken a word to her father who had joined Angle's opinion on it being her fault. Angela's mother hadn't spoken a word._

_Angela watched her mother stare off into space with red puffy eyes. She was probably dreaming of Annabelle. Her father looked much the same._

_People continued to offer their condolences and casseroles that would not help at all. Angela ignored the people while shakily standing up to view her sister one last time before the service started._

_Angela timidly peaked over the casket._

_Annabelle looked like the Angel she was. She wore a white dress with embroidered flowers all over it. Her face was so peaceful. She even wore a slight smile. She didn't look dead, just like she was in a deep sleep having a wonderful dream. She had a tiny flower crown in her braided hair._

_Annabelle had always loved to have her hair braided. Angela remembered the Barbie doll hairdressing head they had gotten for her one Christmas. Angela sat with her all night till she was able to make braid, and when she did Annabelle had a second Christmas._

_Angela smiled slightly at the memory. _

_The memory that only she knew. _

_The memory she would never share with Annabelle when they grew older and looked back on the good old days._

_A single tear slid down her cheek as she leaned in to say the last words she would ever say to her sister._

"_Forgive Me."_

_No response._

I splashed my tear stained face with water trying desperately to wash away the flashbacks. She looked at herself in the mirror. She was a killer. She looked so… _scarred._

At the same time the bell rang the stall busted open. A chill ran down my spine.

Suddenly the towel rack began to rowel _by its self!_

I screamed and ran from the bathroom totally freaked out. I quickly escaped into my biology class.

Like it!? Tell me!- COMMA OF THOUGHT


	13. Spirit Seeker

I was not going to even let it bother me

I was not going to even let it bother me. He obviously had issues. I was just glad to be released from his stare. I was terrified he would see right through me the whole time.

My so called "make-out teacher" was approaching me as I excited the cafeteria. I pulled on my don't fuck with me mask and walked/ran for my life around the corner. I had biology next so I figured I would go introduce myself to the teacher.

I entered the room and approached the desk with a name plate that identified the bald man behind it as Mr. Banner. I scanned the room and saw that I had this class with Angela. Her eyes were weathered from crying, and she looked as if she had seen a ghost.

I wanted desperately to comfort her and find out what was wrong. But what if she was like me, and didn't want any comfort or pity.

Mr. Banner cleared his throat waiting for me to say something. I blushed.

"I'm Bella Swan. I'm new." I handed him the slip and he signed it not saying a word. We were going to get along just fine. He motioned for me to take the only open seat. In the back of the room. Next to Edward. Shit.

I stalled my every movement that brought me close to him. I even _pretended _to trip. Right when I straitened up, he tensed and had that look that could kill.

I made a curtain with my hair. The whole period I felt as if I was being hunted. Finally the bell rang and I didn't know if I was grateful or upset that I had P.E. next.

I snuck one look at Edward who was staring at me. He had the nerve to smile and then scatter like a cockroach. He was so abnormally fast.

I was on an emotional wave and Edward was the tide. I felt my tear dots quiver due to my anger and confusion.

As soon as I rounded the corner all thoughts of Edward and my own problems meant nothing.

All that mattered was that sweet Annabelle was crying.

"What's wrong sweetie?" I asked. She looked up and ran to me as if she had known me all her life.

"Angy ran away from me! All I wanted to do was make her stop crying. She was saying my name so I thought she wanted me. But when I tried to hug her she ran away like I was the boogie monster!" she cried out on the last part, and took another round of hysterics.

I rubbed her back and tried to coo her. She stifled a few times before forming coherent speech. "I forgive her and she doesn't even know that! And she won't forgive me!"

So this was about forgiveness? This is why she hadn't crossed over.

"Annabelle, you listen to me. I will make sure that Angela knows she is forgiven and I will make sure she forgives you. Then you will be happy. Ok?" I was not going to let her or Angela suffer.

"Tell that to Daddy." She said. She sounded so bitter and mature, like a teenager. I smiled slightly and nodded.

"Thank you spirit seeker." And she was gone.

_Spirit seeker._

I loved it. I think it calls for a new tattoo!

I was the strong spirit seeker not the weak Bella Swan.

And that's when it all clicked into place. I was meant to come and help the symmetry of Forks. It made me feel better. Edward didn't matter. All he did was make my life _more_ complicated.

"Look out forks." I whispered to myself "The Spirit Seeker is in town."

Edward's pov

If I could die I would pay someone to shoot me. I can't believe she thought I had a mental disorder. Her blood was much to tempting in biology. I had no idea what to do witch was extremely frustrating. I didn't want her to hate me so I tried to smile. I probably looked like a dog with peanut butter on the roof of its mouth. But that was probably weird that I was smiling when I had just blown off her question about me being her friend. I didn't now what to say then either, all I knew was what I wanted to say.

Only she could throw a vampire's cool off.

Why was I making such a big deal about it? I had gone so low as to go into a restroom I had never been in before and sulk.

It's not like I was the only one who was a little strange. Alice had caught her talking to her self twice.

Who was I kidding? She could be mentally retarded and pull it off.

I decided to skip last period and go hunting.

That's when I heard it. It was a conversation with Bella and……nobody. I took a look at her from behind a pole. No one was there but her eyes said different. She looked like she was listening intently to something important.

She made a very sincere promise that made no sense to me.

All of a sudden she looked as if she had an epiphany.

"Look out Forks." She whispered to herself. "The Spirit Seeker is in town."

_Spirit Seeker._ That was a clue.

Maybe she wasn't crazy. Or at least maybe she has a reason to be.

Bella Swan was definitely a puzzle I was determined to solve.

I'M HUNGRY. FEED ME REVIEWS. :D


	14. Clueless

I AM SO VERY, very,very,very,very,Very SORRY

I AM SO VERY, very,very,very,very,_Very SORRY_! I have an excuse though! I've been duck hunting with my brothers and my cousins and I haven't been able to update! Pllleeaassee forgive me. Thanks for the reviews! They filled me up but I think I'm getting a little hungry…..

I walked through the threshold of my room and right smack-dab into Jared.

"Hey! Big break in the case! I saw that Cullen kid! Cullen is the name of the doctor that my family didn't want!"

At the mention of Edward I groaned. If he was to become a part of my helping Jared that would truly suck. I was trying to avoid him, and if I needed him I wouldn't be able to do that.

"Well who got your panties in a wad?! I've been sitting in your room all day with nothing to do, and this how you come home to me?" Jared said in fake anger.

I raised an eyebrow at him. "I'm not groaning at you. And now that I think about it you did get my panties in a wad." I turned my head towards my under where that I did not leave out on the bed this morning.

Jared looked he had just been caught with his hand in a cookie jar.

"Umm…I can expla-

"Save it Jared, now what about Cullen?" I asked. I walked over to my ihome and turned My Chemical Romance on and into back ground music. I plopped down on my bed while Jared took a seat at my desk eagerly.

"Well I don't really now what I'm talking about. I never really listened to my .family about the whole treaty thing. But I know it has to do with the Cullen clan!"

Great. Maybe I could use Alice to help me? No she had already caught me weirdly talking to nobody. I was worried and disappointed but at the same time intrigued. I had never had a case like this. Then again I had never had a friend like Jared.

_No Bella, don't get attached. He is just another spirit. Just another client._

"Heelloo?! Earth to Bella! Are you high or something?"

"No, I was just thinking." I snapped "is there someone we could talk to about the legends, or this treaty or whatever?" I pressed. Why would the Perfect Cullen's have to have a treaty with a entire reservation?"

"Hey! Don't go all cop on me! We can worry about it later. Let's do that later."

I looked him straight in his eyes. I new he wanted to know why he had died when he wasn't ready. But at the same time I knew he was stalling.

"Jared, its gonna be ok. It's a lot better on the other side. You don't have to be scared." I said in a convincing voice.

He looked up at me from under his hair with sad eyes. I hated to see someone as happy as Jared with a gloom look on his face. That was my facial. I wanted to cheer him up. I suddenly had the perfect idea that I knew he would personally love to be apart of it."

"You know, I was thinking of getting another tattoo. You want to come help me?"

His face immediately brightened. For a second he looked like I had just proposed to him.

"YES! IWOULDLOVETOGO.WHEREAREYOUGONNAGETIT?WHATCOLOR?!"

"Easy boy!" I laughed, putting my hands on his shoulders to steady him from all of his jumping. "Come on lets go. Wait do you know where I can get a tattoo without any ID?" I asked sheepishly. I felt a little off asking a 13 year old this question.

"Oh sure. We can go on the rez. The Quileute's sometimes _make_ their kids get tattoos. Were Indians, remember? Oh you can go to my Dads shop! My cousin Jake works there! You can ask him questions, he knows all about that Treaty stuff." Jake said.

"Cool" was all I could say as I quickly rushed to get my keys.

"So what is your tattoo gonna say?" Jake questioned as we drove into La push. I blushed. He would probably think the tattoo sounded weird and confusing. Then again _I _was weird and confusing.

"Ummm I was thinking maybe it would be a little more girly then the one I have on my back….I was thinking…..maybe it would say…….Spirit Seeker?" I confessed looking at the shimmering rocks on the beach.

"Dude! That is so bad ass! I inspired it." He said the last part like he had just won Miss America and was rubbing it in the girl's faces.

So apparently my tattoo sounded 'bad ass'. I was relived.

"Where you gonna get it?" I blushed again at his question. God, why don't I just get a permanent blush tattooed on my face.

"Well….I was thinking that it would go across my pelvis… at my waist line." I snuck a look at his face. His eyes seemed to say 'every guys dream' and he slowly nodded his head up and down in approval. All I could do was laugh.

"Turn up here." Jared ordered.

The shop was actually a shed. It had tons of stolen street signs for walls on the outside. It stuck out just past the beautiful ocean. La push was truly beautiful.

My Excitement and anxiety seemed to increase as I stepped from the truck. My truck door almost hit a Rabbit, but I quickly caught it.

"Come on!" Jared yelled running into the door.

With every step I took toward the door, every thought I gained. What was I going to ask this guy? "Hey I can talk to your dead cousin, and he wants to know why you didn't care enough about him to get the best doctor you could get." Yep that wouldn't sound _very sensitive. _How was I going to get him to talk about _Edward?_

I took a deep breath trying to gain confidence.

I walked through the door and the bell jingled turning the head of a alive boy.

Here I go.

Totally clueless as to what to do.

I'm starved. Review or I will make sure that Jane gives you a visit tonight. No I would never do that…..or would I? Muhahahaha! – COMMA OF THOUGHT


	15. New Observations

**I'm sorry! I have been at church camp and I haven't been able to even see a computer! Forgive me! Oh and this chap dose not have any thing romantic about Jacob and Bella in it. This is an ExB story! Ok now ready set go!**

**Disclaimer: Don't own nothing!**

The boy began to wipe the ink off his hands. Normally that would have taken seconds, but it was my time to observe the situation and it felt as if everything was in slow motion. I guess its just one of the side effects that comes with being a '_Spirit  
Seeker'._ It felt good to finally have something to call it.

Jared was clearly grieving for the living just as Annabelle did. He watched his cousin walk forward to greet me. I noticed his tear stained face. It did not surprise me that he was crying even though he was _huge_. He looked pretty much like Jared except his hair was cropped short plus the whole height and muscle thing. And he had no hint of boy in his face, but for some reason he still gave of that sweet impish vibe. There was a picture on the desk that was crumpled from being clutched to his chest. In the picture were Jared and a copal of other boys on a cliff. I had seen this many times but for some reason my heart cringed- the seen of pure loss and grief. Some times I didn't understand death. As weird as that seems.

I was so lost in my own thoughts that I did not notice the kind voice that escaped the boy's mouth.

"Hello?" he said waving his hand in front of my face. Kind of like Jared did. "What can I do for you?" he asked.

"Ummm….I need a tattoo." I blushed. That was so obvious; it was a tattoo/piercing shop! _Smooth Bella._ He on the other hand looked like he was trying to have an educated discussion with Paris Hilton and Ozzy Osborn at the same time.

"Okay" he chuckled. His voice sounded like he was talking to a three year old. "Can you elaborate?" he asked.

"Umm… well I want it to say……spirit seeker." I said timidly. He would probably ask me why, but to my surprise he just smiled.

"That's cool lets get started." He motioned me to sit in the dentist chair. He pooled out a sketch pad and colored pencils. "What colors do you think?" he asked.

"Uh…. Dark ones?" he raised a eyebrow at me "Okay you can do your own design or whatever I just want it to be like that big." I said frustrated while making out the length of my pelvis with my hands. I was so tense; why? Probably because I was about to discuss a very touchy subject with a total stranger. If he was dead it would be one thing, but this guy was indeed the opposite.

"Okay" he said, smirking at my irritability. "I'm Jacob." he stated

"Bella."

"No shit. Even all of La Push knew you were coming." Ok that made me blush. But I hardened my expression at his rudeness.

As he began to draw I studied him. He was wearing a wife beater that exposed his tattoos. It was all wolves. Wolves were swimming, jumping, running…...but on his right hand read a memorial.

"_I WILL NEVER FORGET YOU JAR."_

_October 5__TH__ 1994-DECEMBER 16__TH__ 2007_

"Bella, the tattoos! Ask him about the tattoos!" Jared shouted out of the blue.

I took a moment to compose my voice and take a few deep breaths.

"So what's up with all the wolves?" I asked eyeing his tattoos.

He looked guarded for a moment then he smirked. Jacob had that same look on his face that Edward had; like he was laughing at an inside joke.

"Wolves are just kind of my thing." he laughed.

I knew I sounded like a nosey idiot, but I was finally we were finally on to something. "Why wolves?" I pressed. All guard fell from his face and he reminded me of a missionary ready to spread the word of God.

"You're on the rez! You haven't heard the legends?!" He yelled.

"No" I said flatly.

"Well allow me to scare you with an old story….." he began.

"I don't really get scared." I interrupted.

"Well let this be the first time." He said ominously. "Our people are said to have descended from wolves…. Well men and wolves." I looked at him in confusion. "Werewolves." He said with a wicked grin, that I had to admit was a little creepy. "They were not always that way though, it was only because of the cold ones. Werewolves were said to have protected the tribe from the cold ones after the great flood." He looked back at the picture of Jared and than back to his design. "A young boy would faze at some point." He said in a sad tone.

Jacob may be a bit of an ass but he was sweet just like Jared. He would be a good friend and I could not let him squirm in grief. I had no idea why he was thinking of Jared at a moment like this, but he was. I had to pull him out of it.

"So who are the cold ones?" I asked

His eyebrows shot up at that moment. "To your people….." he dropped his voice "Vampires." he spat with hate.

Chills ran up my spine. I just had that sinister feeling that I knew Jared had. These legends had something to do with the Cullens, and that made me realize what might be going on. I know I sound crazy to be considering the fiction, but hey…. Some people don't believe in the paranormal. Look at me.

"They made a treaty with the one coven of cold ones that clamed to be good and they are said to still walk to this day" Ok I was scared and he new it. I knew he new it because of the way he was smirking. Not to mention that the goose bumps were clearly visible on my white skin.

Suddenly he looked worried. Maybe that he said too much? He forced a smile that didn't reach his eyes. "But Hey! We're just a bunch of superstitious natives' right?" he said nervously. I nodded and relief was clear on his tan face. But I did not believe this was a tall tale.

He got up from his seat with the drawing and walked toward me. "How is this?" he asked holding his breath.

The design was perfect! _Spirit Seeker_ was written in old English molded into cemetery gates tangled in vines. It went from black to purple to blue kind of like it was tie dye. "Yes!" I said clapping. He laughed and I immediately blushed. Why had I just done that? I never did that.

"Awesome! Where do you want this bad boy?"

Kill me now. This was the part I had been wishing would not come. A giggle escaped Jared from the corner of the room.

"Why are you blushing now?" he teased. I rolled my eyes at him.

"Just put it on my pelvis okay." I said quietly. He boomed.

"That can be done."

The tattoo went smoothly if you didn't count the parts when he would wipe the access ink. His hands burned me for God's sake!

"Alright you know the drill. Put this on every night and if it starts to itch or get red go to the doctor. And you can't sew me!"

I laughed and jumped from the chair. "Thanks Jake!" I yelled over my shoulder.

"No Sweat! Any tim-"

At that time a beautiful Native American girl walked through the doors. Jake had his mouth wide open. I could have sworn I saw a trickle of drool.

I giggled and reached for the door handle. Then I remembered Jared and whipped my head around to face him.

"Oh, I know it's hard to stay away from me Izzy, but you're going to have to let me see how this goes." Jared said in a amused voice as he watched his dazed cousin. "Oh! And the tattoo is hot!" he began to do this lizard thing with his tough and I couldn't help but laugh. Of course I did not turn the heads of Jacob and the girl. They seemed to be in their own little bubble.

I shook my head smiling as I stepped outside.

Then a gust of wind hit me along with realization. I defiantly had new observations for Edward Cullen.

**Review and you shall receive! **


	16. Confessions in the Kitchen

Alright I'm back

**Alright I'm back. There is not a lot of paranormal or mystery or BxE moments in this chapter. I'm still trying to figure out how I'm gonna force Edward and Bella together. So be patient. Ok here it is…….**

**Disclaimer: it pains me to say this but I am no Stephenie Meyer**

As soon as I got home I ran to the bathroom to get into more comfy cloths. I missed the days when I could simply throw a tank on. Now I had to watch for my scars. I grabbed a t-shirt and some cotton daisy dukes. I looked down at my pelvis-It was freaking awesome! I never thought I would say that.

Thinking about the tattoo reminded me of something. What if Mema didn't like tattoos? What if she sent me away? I began to panic but didn't get very far when I heard a loud thud. If Mema had gotten home then I didn't hear because I was listening to All Time Low really loud. What if Mema had fallen and was calling me?!

I dashed down the stairs only tripping twice in the process. What I saw at the bottom of the stairs was not what I expected. Out on the screen porch was Mema and half the boys at Forks High. Did I mention they were all wearing spandex, and that includes Mema. Oriental music played and Mema had her eyes closed while commanding them to bend. She how ever stayed in a standing position eyeing their asses. Edward covered his mouth so he wouldn't laugh. He was the only one in normal cloths. Wait…._Edward!? _

At that moment we made eye contact and I felt like he was probing my soul.

I let out a gasp. Oh Great, now they are looking at me. In nothing but a belly t-shirt and daisy dukes. I felt my cheeks get hot.

Mema looked up at me and smiled. I loved it when she smiled; it reminded me of everything nice. When her eyes hit my tattoo she looked a little shocked. When all the boys saw the tattoo they looked a little bonerfied. **(AN: hehe! I made up that word!)**

I quickly grabbed a throw blanket and rapped it around my self. I was about to say anything from apologies to begging to stay. Mema put here hand up.

"Baby doll, you need to get supper, come in the kitchen." She said not taking her eyes off my tattoo. I nodded knowing my doom.

I walked into the kitchen with my head hang. As soon as the swinging door closed I turned to Mema.

"Mema, I'm so sorry! I really shouldn't have gone and done this without your permission. I'm just not used to asking if I can do something. If you want to send me back then I'll understand." A tear rolled down my cheeks as I said the last sentence.

"Baby doll! I ain't ever gonna send you back!" she seemed almost offended that I thought she would do that. All of a sudden her eyes went from hurt to mischievous.

"Listen here Bells, when I was a young lady my mother always told me not to mark on the Lord's temple. (aka your body) Being me I always thought what Mama didn't know didn't hurt her." She had been sitting at the table and me on the counter. She suddenly got up and pulled down her spandex.

Now if there is one thing I never thought would happen in my life….being mooned by Mema was one of them. But on her left side was a tattoo of Elvis Presley.** (AN: ok I might have gotten this from a seen in Water Boy. Ha! I love that movie. Ok back to the story.)**

I couldn't help it; I laughed. I laughed harder then I have in probably my life. My sides ached and I fell from the counter. Mema quickly pulled up her spandex and ran to my side.

"Bella! Are you hurt! I swear you're just like your father." We both went silent. It was not an uncomfortable silence, but it wasn't comfortless either. I cleared my throat and broke the silence.

"…So what your saying is….your not mad?" I said carefully.

"Heavens no child. I did want to thank you though; you got the whole male population doing Tie chi with me!" I had to laugh at the expression on her face. So that's what the spandex was.

"Come on lets get you fed." She said getting up slowly with a grunt. She made her way to a big pot and fished out something. It smelled so delicious and I realized how hungry I was.

"Here is some ye ole famous Mema Gumbo." She placed the bowl in front of me and I dug in. I sighed in satisfaction as I ate the last spoon full.

"That was so good Mema. Thank you. Umm….what about your guests?" She smiled taking my plate. "Oh we were finishing up when you came down."

She began washing the dishes. As she came to my bowl she stopped. She turned slowly with a look like she was thinking of a way to say something. Hesitantly she spoke.

"Baby doll, I don't know if you noticed but I am a very observant person. Unfortunately I wasn't observant enough to tell the extent of your father's pain, and I was too late." She looked down for a moment then grabbed the chair next to me. My heart began to pound fast in anxiety. She laid a warm calming hand over mine. "I am not going to lose you." Her voice shook.

I looked down. Could she tell?

"Yes baby, I can tell. I see through your fake smile. If you're not ready to tell me _What_ it is, can you tell me if I'm right?" I looked into her big brown eyes; full of wisdom.

She had lost Charlie and she seemed to blame herself. Just like Mom did. But in this case she was the strong one, not me. She seemed to really want me here…but can I trust her to not through me back when she found out the extent of the damage? What if she became s depressed like Renee? Can I trust myself? There were so many questions and only one answer. Mema would not throw me back.

I had been looking at my lap and I slowly looked back at her. She spotted the tears on my cheeks and wiped them away. That was the first time someone had wiped my tears besides myself.

I slowly nodded letting a sob escape me.

"Yes." I whimpered.

I broke to the ground clenching my chest. Mema slowly rapped her arms around me.

"You don't have to tell me what. You just have to cry. You have to show that you are upset. I have to know. You can't keep it to yourself; you will snap. So for now just cry." And she held me till sobs subsided and I drifted into nightmares.

**Reviews are really awesome. I wish I had some new ones….Know where I could get some?**


	17. Rude Awakening

Ok peeps, I like to think this is the story takes off

**Ok peeps, I like to think this is the story takes off. Read and review! I already know what to write for the next chap. This Chap is going to be a suspense builder for yall. – COMMA OF THOUGHT**

I woke in a cold sweat from my usual night mare. The only difference was the same young doctor that looked at me with pity. Kind of like he was screaming for some one to help me but the sound wouldn't come out. That was exactly how I felt; there was indeed vampires lurking among good people. And I was beginning to wonder about the hospital. How much of the blood actually went to the blood blank?

And as much as I hated to admit it, Edwards in inhuman beauty lived in my night mares. But they did not make the night mares worse…. And that scared the living shit out of me.

It had been like this for the past month. I had watched Edward Cullen like a hawk. Anytime he would make conversation with a human I would cringe or scream to distract them then say that I saw a bug or something. Once again Edward surprised me by being gentle… and nice. Not towards me of course. He simply avoided me as much as possible. And I was fine with that although I found it to be rude. Plus he would sometimes give me strange looks as if trying to solve a mystery. But his search tended to end with frustration in his topaz sea. So he was coming off as odd. And you never know, it could be part of an act. He could strike when he wanted.

Jared however would say and I quote "My spidey senses are tingly when you and him are together." That did disturb him as much as me. Jared and I had solved the mystery of his death, yet he still hung around and to tell you the truth I didn't mind. He was my best friend aside from Mema and Angela. I had yet to see Annabelle though.

She was basically my mother. Mine didn't even call me any more, but I refused to think of that.

So my conclusion to the past month was that of an impasse. And I could only hope that each day would bring healing. So I peeled myself from the bed to get ready for hell.

"Jared, if you're in here you better get out! I don't want to catch you again while I'm getting dressed!"

No answer. He was probably in La push.

I was in deep thought when I got that feeling I was used to. It was that feeling of awareness. But it wasn't for matters of the paranormal. I realized I didn't smell the comforting aroma or sound of Mema cooking.

"Mema!" I called. No answer. That was strange. She might have been old but she had vampire hearing.

I made my way to her room. Each step I took and each creek in the floor sent a chilling feeling that was clearly screaming 'SOMETHING IS WRONG!'

Following my instincts I sprinted to Mema's room, not allowing my self to trip. I busted into the wooden threshold.

Mema lie on her made bed with her eyes closed. She was fully dressed. Something was wrong.

I wanted to run to Mema and feel her heart beet. But my feet would not allow me and continued to move painfully slow.

When I reached her I bowed my head slowly to her chest terrified of the verdict. I then heard a thud. It was very low but it was still there and it rested inside of her. She was still alive.

I was released from my emotional cage and back to reality.

"Mema! Mema! Wake Up!" I shook her but got no response.

Jared suddenly appeared behind me.

"You have to call the hospital! She doesn't have much time." He sounded as if he was going to burst into tears of panic much like I was doing.

I looked up questioning him with my eyes.

We both new what was at the hospital.

Was it really worth it? I was torn. Mema lived by the bible and taught me to love god. She was sweet and new where she was going. But look at the world, she would be happy to escape it. So I would not see her, I would lose her till the day I died.

I couldn't let that happen. I needed her right now. Every thing had seemed to take a turn lately.

My mind was made and I ran to the phone to dial 911, ignoring Jared.

**Do your thing ******** I love it when you do :D **


	18. See you in the morning

I wrote this chapter based on a similar experience of mine

**I wrote this chapter based on a similar experience of mine. Hope you like it. **

I was running along with Mema on the stretcher. I was not leaving her.

"Doctor Cullen! We've got a 134 ICU!" One of the nurses yelled.

At the mention of a Cullen I screamed. I grabbed on to Mema trying to protect her. I would rather have her alive in heaven then have the love sucked from her!

I was putting on quite a show for the lobby and putting up quite a fight for the nurses. I kicked and scratched and screamed like a lion protecting cubs. Then I felt a cold set of familiar strong cold arms rap around me. I could put up no fight. I sat there like a limp rag in the safe arms of something dangerous.

I felt a prick in my arms and my eyes felt like weights. I tried to call out one last warning. Working up all my strength I looked into Edwards eyes. They seem to be far away or maybe fading.

"Mema…don't you take..." my words were slurring.

"What? Take what Bella?" He asked his tone urgent.

"Blood….life…" Then it went black

EPOV

What was that supposed to mean? Blood? Life? It was like she knew. Which was not possible Alice strictly ate lunch with Bella and I painfully avoided her unless I was watching her sleep.

I was pondering this in the waiting room that seemed to be filled with all of Forks except for Bella.

I could see Alice in the corner snuggled in Jasper's arms dry sobbing while he tried to calm her. He was having trouble considering he was upset as well. Not to mention the pressure of the whole room. Rose sat with her head in her hands and if Emmet was human he would be whaling. I however sat with an unreadable expression on my face; blocking out the sorry humming of worried thoughts.

Once Carlisle entered the room everyone eagerly sat up awaiting the news.

He simply said something that surprised me.

"Edward, come back." He said flatly

Everyone sat back down with a heavy sigh.

Once we were in the hall way he turned to me.

"She has had an undiscovered brain tumor for sometime now. I'm afraid it's too late in the game. She is still with us but not for long. She has asked to speak with you." He informed. That was a surprise.

"Me?" I asked. He nodded and gestured toward the door which she laid behind.

I made my way toward the door stopping to look at Bella who lay unconscious on a couch. A tear that she was not aware of rolled down her cheek. I longed to hold her but instead I stepped inside Mema's room.

There she lay with her eyes closed; nothing hooked to her. She looked rather peaceful. I could her slow heart beet and shaky breath. Her thoughts were mere whispers I couldn't make out.

If I were not a monster, I would feel the tears roll down my cheeks.

As soon as she heard me enter her eyes shot open. Her big brown Bella eyes. You could tell they had never aged; just stopped in time not clouding like normal elders. Much like myself except maybe more beautiful.

"Edward?" it was the first time I had ever heard her voice so weak and unjolly.

"Yes Mema, its me." I sat in the chair and held her hand which was beginning to feel as cold as mine.

"Edward, I have trusted you so much over the years and you have helped Me." she paused for a moment and a slight smile played on her lips "You Jumped when I said hop." Only Mema could be funny at a time like this. I smiled but it didn't reach my eyes.

"But I have one last favor to ask before I go." She said. She seemed so calm at the topic of her death.

"Anything" I said shakily.

"Take care of my baby doll." I knew who that was. "Don't let that monster hurt her." She said through clenched teeth.

I wondered for a moment if she spoke of me.

"Who?" I asked.

"I don't now. Find out for me will you?" she asked.

I thought for a moment then answered. "Of course"

"Ok then sweetie pie, I'll see you later. Send her in." She said

For the first time in my life I felt weak as I stood and walked toward the door not before whispering "Love you Mema."

Bella was awake when I closed the door and looked at her. I stared into the eyes that I had just closed the door on but much more frightened. Her eyes crying and if I wanted to get out of here with out holding her I would have to make this quick

TAKECAREOFMYHEARTILEFTITWITHYOUTAKECAREOFMYHEARTIL

BPOV

I woke from what felt like forever. I was strangely rested but extremely disturbed by my night mare. I was in the hospital with Mema ready to hand her to a vampire.

I took a deep breath trying to calm my nerves. I fully opened my eyes and closed them quickly. It was not a night mare. It was reality.

I was lying on a couch in a hospital hall way. Tears of fear poured from my eyes.

I heard the door click behind me and whipped my head around. Edward stood there with a sad look on his chiseled face.

I wanted to scream and run but could not. I seemed to be a dear in the head lights just like in my night mares. Maybe this was a night mare. I quickly pinched myself. Nope this was real and worse then any of my normal night mares.

"Bella" he sounded timid yet rushed. "She doesn't have much time. She wants to see you." He walked away with his head bowed not waiting for my response.

"Why?! What happened?" I called. He turned and said "don't waist the time, go." And then he pasted back into the waiting room.

My legs lifted them self but I remained in shock. I reached for the door knob but let my hand stay above it. Would I regret going behind this door? Maybe but I was already scarred; what did it matter. So I slowly opened the door.

There she was. She wasn't on any life support which made me angry for a moment. If they weren't going to have any of that then she should have a huge king sized bed with flowers and all her cookies around her. Why weren't they trying? But they weren't killing either, thank God. But yet she was still dying.

She was always so alive but now she looked so helpless, yet still beautiful. It was happening all over again. I was the propaganda pitiful excuse for strong. A sob escaped my lips and her eyes shot open.

"Come here baby doll." She said using all her remaining strength to open her arms. I quickly ran to into arms which I called home. I lay on the small bed with her. She wiped my tears with her cold hands, and I realized she was still the strong one even though was dying. I should be the one wiping her tears. I was pathetic.

"Why Mema? What did we do wrong? Why now?" I sobbed.

"It's just my time baby doll, it's just my time." She cooed stroking my hair.

"I need you." I said desperately clinging to her gown listening to her faint precious heart beet to make sure it was still there.

"Shhh child, I'll still be there."

I began to wonder if I would really see her soon, but I pushed the hopeful thought from my mind. I knew she would rest in peace. She had always loved that one song she would play on Sunday; Steppin' on the clouds. This was indeed good bye.

"Baby doll I want you to promise me something." My head shot up to meet the deep eyes we shared. "Anything" I whispered. I grabbed on to her cold hands trying to remember the times when they were warm. They were still just as comforting though.

"Heal." She said.

All I could do was nod and snuggle back into her chest and listen to the last moments of her heart beet, trying to imprint them into my memories. I had helped so many souls through this, but I couldn't seem to help myself. Everything was about to fall apart.

Mema would mumble "Charlie" every now and then. I new she was slipping away. I would hold titer to her weak cold body as if to keep her here with me.

"I love you" I whispered over and over again and she would answer back.

"I think I'm gonna rest my eyes and take a little nap." She slurred.

"Okay" I croaked. Tears flowed faster from my eyes but Mema was now to weak to wipe them. "Good Bye" I whispered. I pulled my head from her chest and kissed her forehead.

Her eyes opened but just barley, to look into mine.

"No child, not good bye." She closed her eyes.

"I'll see you in the morning." She whispered.

And those were her last words as she died in my arms.

**Review! I got to know how it was!**


	19. Cant Take This

I sat there for about an hour just waiting for any other sign of Mema

**Ok I was gonna update last Thursday but I had to go spend the night at my Grandma's house. Then I went camping all weekend and my brother broke his arm and it looked really creepy… I wish I could show yall a picture or something. Any who, I got back yesterday then I started puking my guts out. So here I am upateing now that its convenient. Oh! and add this song to the story playlist- Baby you wouldn't last a minute on the Creek by Chiodos! Ok so here we go, and sorry if the chapter is a little rushed. **

I sat there for about an hour just waiting for any other sign of Mema. There was no other Mema then the dead one in my hands. I bent down and kissed her forehead. I reached behind her neck and unlatched the engraved cross necklace. She had once told me that she would want me to have it when she was gone. I of course changed the topic before she could go any farther; the thought of Mema being gone was absurd….and still is.

I examined the beautiful silver of the cross and the diamond in the middle dance in the light. Engraved on the back was her name- Gertrude Winters. Winters was her maiden name.

I placed it on my neck and bent down to give one last hug. I stayed that way for about another 5 minutes; still not believing this was happening. I slowly let go and walked to the door looking back one last time before shutting it behind me.

As soon as I was in the hallway I noticed the man from my dream, _The Dream;_ the dream was trying to tell me something! How could I have been so stupid! Well now I know that I also have premonitions. Great.

The beautiful doctor stepped toward me. He was overly graceful. His name tag said Cullen. I knew what he was, yet I just stood there not really caring at the moment. Right when he was about to say something I answered the unasked question.

"Its over." I said. I never thought that my voice could sound more monotone and damaged then it already did. God, what was Mema thinking when she would call me beautiful and special?

He nodded once and walked around me, seeming to get the point that I didn't want to talk.

I opened the door and stepped into the waiting room and all eyes were on me, and that included the black and golden ones. It seemed as if all of Forks was there. Shit.

I quickly wiped away any tears which only made my face redder. I could not let them see me weak. I straitened up and waited till I knew my voice was composed while everyone else was on the edge of their seats. I cleared my throat to get the unwanted attention from the few people that had not noticed me.

"She's gone." The moment I announced the news the room seemed to go into apocalypse. Most people bowed their heads, some hugged, and others even screamed out and cried.

There was no other place I wanted to be right now. It was a place of sadness, grief, and mourning. But it was not somewhere I could cry.

"Not here in front of people." I whispered to myself. All of the Cullen's heads snapped up. I would normally take that into consideration, but right now I didn't care. I simply stepped past everyone. Mrs. Newton patted me on my shoulder causing me to wince in pain. My scars seemed to sting more then they ever had.

Once I was free of the closterfobia of the crowd I came face to face with the beautiful profile of Edward.

I could clearly see the pity in his topaz pools, and I hated it. There was also something else- frustration? I turned my head away from his gaze.

Jessica and Lauren stood in the corner, not quite as sad as the rest of the room. Lauren bent her head down to Jessica, looked at me and unsuccessfully whispered into her ear.

"I can't believe she isn't crying over Mema…I mean that's her grandma…"

I turned my head away and shut my eyes to keep the tears behind them. I had had enough of them and this would normally be the point were I would go over and beet the living daylights out of them, but I was in no mood. Plus…they were right…I was terrible.

The small growl that erupted from Edward seemed to snap me out of it. He had his angry eyes on Lauren and Jessica. This was my chance to escape. I sidestepped Edward and ran for the exit. Once I opened the door I gasped for the breath I didn't realize was holding. It was pouring and I didn't care. I let my tears fall and blend with the rain. I began to walk not exactly knowing were I was going.

I walked for what felt like forever. I didn't even stop when I came to the edge of the forest. Every time I tripped in the woods I would lay there thinking that maybe I wouldn't get up. Maybe I would just lay there and watch the rain drip from the canopy and mix with the tears. Maybe I wouldn't get up until I joined the people that I constantly helped.

I finally came to a small meadow at about sundown.

I walked into the center and sat cross legged. I would feel so much better if I had Mema hug. The emptiness was over whelming; I hugged my knees to my chest and rocked back and forth as if it would help.

What was I going to do? I wasn't 18 yet, what was I going to do? The thought led me to think that I would be sent back to my mother. The very thought made my scars burn and my body rack with fresh sobs.

Suddenly I felt a strange and comforting presence. I looked up into the black eyes of Jared.

"Oh Jared, what am I going to do?!" I bellowed while jumping to give him a hug. He put his arms around me but didn't respond, he continued to look spaced out.

"Bella….I'm tired." I looked up at him with a horrified expression. I knew what was about to happen.

"Why?! Why now what did I do?!" I stood up from the muddy ground and got right in his face. He still looked like he was in oblivion. He switched his eyes to mine.

"I don't know….it just sort of clicked. I want to go…." I didn't want to hear this. Not now.

"Can't you wait? I don't know if I can get through this with nobody! You cant just leave me! You're my best friend!-"

"Bella you have people! You are not alone!" he shouted.

We stood there just staring at each other. Finally he broke the silence.

"Look…. I'll stay for a while ok? But I can't stay here forever. I see that now and you helped me see it too. Now with Mema and everything I realize… that I don't belong here." he barley whispered the last part looked down.

I couldn't do this right now it was just too much.

"Just don't talk to me right now." I whispered. I sank to the ground and cried. I cried till I felt weak. I felt my self stepping in and out of awake and blacked out. My body had had enough and now I was leaning towards blacking out.

I felt to strong cold arms rap around me before I was overcome by darkness.

**Reviews make my fingers want to type!**


	20. A condition on a will

All righty folks

**All righty folks! This chapter will ignite the conflict within Bella. So Pay Attention! And I may not be able to update bc I will be really busy starting at 9:00 tomorrow. If any you know about a show called So You Think You Can Dance, it has to do with that. Their new season started on Thursday and they had come to Dallas for auditions before starting it. Well my dance instructor / cousin tried out. She didn't make it but she got called back twice. Which is a really big deal bc they she is like really good so they must dance hard core. Just to think I wasn't old enough to audition. Some of their stuff is like as simple as a company routine. Any who Marissa (i&c) made friends with Travis from last season (HHOT). He like freaking came to are studio! So now my team and I are going to be flying down to be in the audience. There will be lots of other teams but still! So we fly tomorrow! I will bring my labtop and read stories at night when I'm supposed to be asleep, but won't be able to update! Be back Monday night!**

**ok now read….**

I was awakened by the smell of cinnamon rolls, and relief washed threw me. I had had the worst dream which I was still shaking from. Mema must have been cooking my breakfast. I sat up and stretched out finally prying my eyes open through all the sleep. Only then did I realize I was not in my bedroom. I was in the bakery. The lights were off and it was thunder storming. There was something missing but I couldn't put my finger on it. Mema's joyful bakery had a rare eerie feeling to it. But were was Mema?

"Mema! Mema are you there?!" I called I got up out of the booth that I had been sleeping on and made my way behind the counter.

"Mema!" I called her again but she didn't answer. I had probably come here to help her out, she went home to start dinner and I fell asleep.

I grabbed the broom and began sweeping the checkered floor. I then noticed all the flowers by the window. I made examined all of the bouquets and noticed a card sticking from one of the pots. It had a cross and a girl letting go of a dove on the cover. I opened and read it….

_May God bless you and be with you through these hard times._

_My condolences for Mema; she was a wonderful woman._

_Miss Carrie_

I dropped the card as my heart fell to my stomach. It had not been a dream. This was all too real, all too terrible to only be a nightmare.

A new gust of wind began to blow and the wind chimes on the porch of the bakery clanked and collided with the rain. I brought my head up to look at them, to see how if they were winning against the rain.

Instead of seeing the window, I saw something else.

Edward.

Right then and there was the moment my instincts should have kicked in. I should not be in a dark room, alone, and vulnerable with a vampire. I stood there in shock waiting for the best time to run.

His black jacket and the dark back ground made his skin come off as glowing. The moonlit window seemed to make a hallow around his copper hair. Though I hated to admit it…. I was speechless. He seemed to be an angle: just like the first time I had seen him. But that was not what

"Bella…." He whispered. Oh, his voice! It sounded so comforting. It was like hunny threating to drip into my mouth, or kind of like when you are into a really good mystery novel, but need and want to go to sleep because you have stayed up reading until 2 in the morning. Something I wanted. But I could not cry on anyone's shoulder, much less him.

His hand reached for my face and I broke out running towards the supply closet. I was going so fast that I seemed to stay in the air when I tripped. I slammed and locked the door behind me. I slid to the floor and hugged my knees to my chest.

When my breathing finally slowed I realized something; if he was a vampire and he really wanted me, couldn't he have caught me right then and there? Wasn't he inhumanly fast?

I also realized something else; why had I run? Who cared about what happened to me. Mema nor Jared were with me and I surly did not care. To tell you the truth I would rather be dead at the moment.

As if on cue I felt the coldness of his body seeping through the wood as he leaned against leaning against the door. Why didn't he just break it down?

"Bella open up… I'm sorry I scared you…" he said desperately.

"I wasn't scared!" I don't know why I had said it, but it was the truth and I didn't want him to think he could threaten me.

"Ok… shaken up." he said "just come out.." he almost seemed to be pleading.

"No." I refused.

It was quiet for a moment and I thought he had gone away. But I was wrong.

"Very well then…. We shall speak through the door." He said, annoyed.

I don't know why but I laughed. The laugh sounded labored and fake, but it was a laugh none the less. But I continued to laugh until the tears of grief mixed with tears of hysteria.

"What?!" he sounded truly surprised.

"That sounded so 1900's." I chuckled. I was finally calming down. Then his bell like laughter filled the apnessphere. I quieted and listened to the beautiful sound. Oh how I hated this.

"Swan, as much as I love you're since of humor and judgment on my choice of words, I have a question. What do you plan on doing?

"I don't know." I croaked. I was happy yet sad that the despair was back into my voice. Wait had I just told him the truth?

"I figured that much. Listen you will get the house since you don't have long till your 18. But there is a condition…" he said hesitantly.

I lay back on a bag of flour as the stress worked its way through my muscles.

"What? And may I ask why you came here to discuss _my_ Mema's legal insurance involving _her_…… death." I asked in a rush; unless you counted the last part.

He didn't answer, but I heard something being slid under the door. It was a file with a bow tied professionally around it. I opened the file ignoring the documents and going to the pink lined paper with a familiar script.

_To whom it may concern,_

_Now if this note is even out I must be gone, But all my stuff aint._

_I don't care you wants my belongings. They were all indigence's anyway. Make a shine if you want I don't give a flying fart._

_But I do care for my house, a house that has been through a lot; a house that is part of me…and my son._

_I feel the rightful owner of the house is my granddaughter, Isabella Swan. Yet I trust an additional person with the house. His name is Edward Cullen, and is just as much my grandbaby as Bella._

_Edward if you're reading this, I want to apologize. I never let you in the house, and I was acting like a 2 year old. Now I just feel like a hypocrite._

_And it is Edwards mother Esme that I have grown close to. She seems to be very productive and trustworthy. The Bakery will go to Bella, but I would like for Esme to manage it. She may also have half the proceedings. And if any of my family from back home needs any emergency finical help they may access the account. I trust them._

_And Bella, My sweet baby doll I know you are reading this. _

_I want you to understand that I am doing this for a reason. I want you to know that death can not only blossom a new beginning for the person who has experienced it. It also happens to the person that seems to be the one around when everything stops._

_So I ask you except this._

_You carry my heart with you._

_ Sincerely,_

_ Gertrude Isabella Winters (Mema)_

**Review…..NOW!**


	21. I Don't Care

Edward had left by the time I came out of the closet

**Hey Yall! Sorry I haven't updated in like a week, I've just been distracted with something. I finally decided to use my brain and put up all the pictures and some songs from the story.**

Edward had left by the time I came out of the closet. I had crept out and began walking down the dark road. It was drizzling, and the road was shiny like a raven's wing. Like Jared's hair.

I stuck my hands in the pockets of my pajama shorts that I hadn't taken off in 2 days. I was supposed to be planning the funeral. I wouldn't have to worry about paying for it. The whole time would kindly do so.

I walked letting my feet take me were they may. I found that they took me to my one true home. I slowly walked up the stairs, just as I had on that first day. I opened the screen door and stepped into the house. Just like the once comforting bakery, the already eerie house had lost its last bit of comfort. It was just right for me, just what I deserved.

I couldn't take it anymore. I ran for the closet to grab what I needed to make the DVD for the funeral, and found that it was already out. Once I had it I ran for the porch.

Once I was on the porch I felt better. I sat on the porch swing and looked down. There was a picture of Charlie holding me. Mema must have been looking at it. I looked at the picture behind it. Mema holding me. That one was defiantly going in the program.

**ThestreetsaredarkmypulseisflatlinedasI'mrunningtoyou.yousitcompletelyunawareof**

**(This is For Keeps by The Spill Canvas )**

The church was packed with all of Forks, and maybe half of my unknown family from Mississippi. Sure I thought they were nice, but I couldn't seem to remember their names even though we shared the same bloodline. I sat as people hugged me making my back sting. My back was so odd. There were now only 2 long scars, like a fallen angel. Yet it felt like my back was still scarred. I was still scarred.

I looked up at the picture of Mema surrounded by flowers. She had wanted to be cremated so we didn't have a casket or anything. She was so beautiful.

I felt the pew shift slightly, indicating that someone was beside me. I looked up slowly to see none other then Angela. Her cheeks were red and tear stained much like mine. Angela was almost as upset as me. Mema was one person she could always go to after what happened with Annabelle.

"Bella I'm not going to say anything to try and fail to comfort you. But I want you to listen to me when I say…..Mema is happy, and she loves you." She spoke in a whisper.

"Okay" I whispered. That actually was comforting in the since that she did not say loved but loves. No past tense.

The preacher went on with the Bible verses and talked about funny stories he remembered. When he talked about her girdle slipping in church the whole room laughed at the funny room. In no time at all it was time. I didn't want to do this but I felt I had to.

"Now a word from Mema's granddaughter, Isabella Swan." He announced. To my dismay everyone looked at me waiting for me to take the stand. I let my legs pick me up. I looked down at my feet as I climbed the stairs. I did not want to trip at a time like this. My face was finally dry thank god, but for some reason most of the eyes looking up at me seemed to fill with pity. I took a deep breath and began.

"Some of you may know me as Charlie Swans Tragedy. The long lost daughter. I like to think of my self as Baby doll" my voice cracked "Mema's baby doll. That's what she always called me. Yet…… I never could figure out why, like how could someone love me so much. I was always scared that she would send me back, but she never did and I don't understand that." I was looking down and decided to make eye contact with the audience. "And I have come to a conclusion that…… Maybe Mema was just a different kind of person. Maybe there are good people in the world, and Mema was one of the best." I paused and whipped away the tear before it could role down my cheek. "And I don't know if some people could have survived without her." at that comment Angela broke down with her head in her hands as Ben tried to hug her. The seen caused more tears to flow but I didn't care enough to wipe them away.

"But if Mema were here I know exactly what she would say. "Now one needs another to survive, all they need is the word of God." Some people nodded their heads in agreement. "But she always told me that there would you had to find someone to help you bare and pray." I paused thinking for a moment "Mema always prayed. She made me pray every night and every meal. I know she is in Heaven." I could not stop the sob that racked my body. I was in front of every one, but I just didn't care. "I know she is with Charlie." I squeaked. I looked up again and saw Jared on the window. He looked at me smiled and waved. I smiled very small and nodded. Then he was gone, and more public tears came

That's when it all clicked. I had to give up. He was taught by Mema that he would go to Heaven and I had to let go. That reminded me of something.

"She would always tell me that there were bad people. But we had to deal with them because no matter how bad someone was god still loved them…. I'm going to remember that." I paused and laughed to myself "About four days ago I felt sick. She told me to go outside and eat a one of her tangerines, said it would make me feel better. But I didn't. So when I get home I think I will." I don't even now if they understood the last part.

The pastor helped me back to the pew. The DVD began to play one of Mema's favorite songs. I didn't even watch the DVD, I just kept my head in my hands. It was then that I felt a cold hand on my back. It did not hurt.

I straitened up slowly and came face to face with a pained Edward. His eyes looked as if they were about to burst, but there was no tears nor was his cheeks red. I wanted to stop looking at him but I couldn't.

That's when the exit door in the back of the sanctuary opened. In stepped Renee and….. Phil. I shot up from my seat and bolted for the other exit, but no one seemed to see being so into the pictures of Mema's life. Except Edward. I was not afraid of Dead people- some not so nice. I am not afraid of death. I was not afraid of werewolves. I don't even know if I'm afraid of vampires. But I am afraid of the man at the door..

I ran through the rain to my truck, not caring about the black dress that Mema had made me. I jumped into the warm cab and locked the doors. I dropped to the floor board in hiding. I screamed so loud it made my ears hurt. I screamed so loud I didn't here it when someone pried the door open.

The next thing I knew I was in his cold arms. But didn't care. This was ok, just like Mema had said. But it was dangerous. Yet I couldn't scream, I couldn't run. All I could do was continue to ruin his shirt and hold on titer.

That's when an idea came to me….

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	22. Just Do It

Okay I am really going out on a limb here

**Sorry I just felt the need to stop there on the last chapter. Then I felt like I should have kept going so I started typing right after I posted the last chap.**

**Okay I am really going out on a limb here. Just to let yall know I have no experience what so ever. The closes I have gotten to ANYTHING was a peck on the lips. So read and tell me what you think. And don't make it mean or I will cry! This is a fairly important chapter.**

Previously-

_That's when an idea came to me_

I looked up at his face. He was not looking at me, but out the window. He had a hostile look in his eyes, like he was trying really hard not to explode with anger. I whimpered thinking that maybe this would be to easy. The noise brought his attention back to me. And all anger was gone.

His eyes held pity, curiosity, frustration, and maybe… love?

My sobs subsided and I buried my head into his chest. What was I to do? I didn't have Jared. I didn't have Mema. I didn't have Renee. All I had was this boy. This Monster. All I had was God, who did not seem to be on my side. I was trapped and something on my mind seemed to be my only escape.

"It's amazing how you can know so much about death. Yet when you experience it your slate is wiped clean. You feel as if your world is crashing down around you." I whispered knowing he could hear me. He removed his hand from my back and lowered the seat so that we were lying down and I was on top of him.

"And how do you know what the experience of death feels like?" he questioned in a whisper also.

Should I just tell him?? Should I just tell him what I experienced everyday? God! I can't do this!

"Damn!" I yelled as a new round of sobs came.

"What?! Are you ok?" the next thing I knew I was the one under him. He looked down at me in worry. Worry he should be happy. He should be grabbing the salt and pepper.

"Just do it." I said in a flat voice, looking him strait in his topaz eyes.

He looked very confused.

"Edward what do you want from me?! Do you want me to squirm a little more?! Suffer a little more!? What do I have to do to get out of this world!!-"

"Bella! What are you talking about? What do you want me to do? I have no idea! I just want you to be happy!" he sounded so sincere and I just could not take this teasing.

"Just do it!" I screamed, truly angry, in his face.

"Do what!?1" he screamed back with more force, but I did not cringe. He jumped back into the passenger seat with his head in his hands. For some reason I did not want to see this Monster in pain. It was just like what Mema said. "Sometimes God wraps good people in a package of bad situation on the whole life deal." She had said.

I crawled into his lap. He was being racked with dry sobs, and I had caused it. I didn't know what to say so I followed my very human instincts. I lifted his chin so that he could see my face. I straddled his hips, brushed the hair from his face, took a shuddering breath, and looked into his beautiful eyes…. And kissed him.

**EPV**

I froze completely. I felt as if my lips were twitching in anticipation. And for the first time I could not tell if it was for her blood or her body. Is this what she meant by "Just do it"? I slowly began slipping into her tempt. I began to do what I wanted to do. I kissed her back.

I had no idea what I was doing. You would think that a Vampire that has lived for over 100 years in a house full of lusted minds, with 2 medical degrees would help, but it wasn't. I was still inexperienced.

Her soft warm hands ran down my chest making me shiver. ME shiver! And all coherent thought was lost. I let her unbutton my shirt as I kissed her with the tempo of her frantic heart. I could not help myself, and I ran my hands up her skirt, past her panties, and to her stomach and felt her belly ring. All at a vampire speed, and in the most ungentlemanly manner. But at least I was careful. She gasped in pleasure, making me all the more excited.

I looked up at her apologizing and asking permission at the same time. She nodded and the dress was thrown onto the dashboard. I slowly took in the beauty that was Bella. She had a perfect body that was sweating slightly, making her tattoos glisten and herself look more delicious. The silky midnight blue bra looked amazing against her creamy skin.

I growled and flipped her into the other seat with me on top of her, propping myself up so that she felt no weight. I kissed between her chin and neck. I was growing drunk with her sent and her sound. She pulled my face to hers for another wonderful kiss.

I was trying to work up and resistance to run my cold toung across her warm lip. She saved me by kissing along my Jaw and to my ear. She sucked on it slightly and earned a throaty moan from myself.

_Self control self control self control….._

But then out of no were she spoke breathlessly.

"Bite me."


	23. I Want Answers

**Ok sorry for not updating! I just didn't know what to write. I am coming up with this story off the top of my head. I don't even know what will happen next. So read……**

He froze. He closed his eyes and took a deep raggedy breath while I tried to control my own breathing. Then ever so slightly he lowered his head to my neck. I waited for the pain to come and end, but that didn't happen. His teeth grazed my neck and it actually felt good. I sighed in contentment and he sighed in frustration.

I opened my eyes and he was gone. It was as if he was never there. I began to cry again. I didn't know if I felt rejected or if I felt disappointed. That was my way out and it was gone. I didn't have the guts to kill myself. I slipped on my dress with shaky hands. I didn't get what I wanted but I got something good, so I tried to think about how the last 15 minutes felt.

I looked over the parking lot to see if anyone saw us. Then I saw him. Phil. I threw the car into gear and backed out, totally leaving the funeral. I sped to my home looking behind me the whole way. I still felt as if someone were watching me.

I jumped from the car once I pulled up to the house. I only tripped once while sprinting to the door. Once inside I slammed the door so hard the wall shook.

I made a decision as I froze looking at the handle. I would pretend that none of this happened. That I did not just see the man of my nightmares. I did not make out with Edward. I did not just reveal that I knew what he was.

I just climbed the stairs and got ready for bed.

And I _dreamed_ of Edward Cullen.

_The Next Morning_

I threw on some ripped jeans and a Rise Against T-shirt. The shirt felt to tight so I put on a black zip up jacket. I topped it off with Vans. I continued to focus on my looks so that I would not focus on the past. And trying not to think about the reason I had my first good nights sleep.

I still looked around still thinking that someone was watching me. But Jared was no longer there and I dismissed the feeling.

The comforting sent of breakfast was no longer there. And I ran from the house, not wanting to wallow in the empty feeling.

I felt like a skittish cat making my way to the truck, always looking behind me.

I pulled into the school parking lot. I ignored all the eyes that were on me. I jumped from the car and once again ran to my first period class, blocking out the whispers. I was rather good at drowning things out when it comes to dead people, but this was different.

I finally came to the hall with my trig class and found that it was deserted. I thanked god and began to run down the hall way. Not before I ran into a brick wall and went flying backwards. I looked up slowly. It was no brick wall. It was Edward.

My heart beat increased as I looked him in his eyes. They were probably the lightest I had ever seen them, and looked as if they would spill over with tears.

He stretched out one white hand and I automatically took it. I felt whole once his palm touched mine. I felt as if no one could hurt me.

He lifted me so easily it didn't even bother making my putty legs sturdy.

We stared into each others eyes for a immeasurable moment. And then he spoke.

"Bella, I will not be here today. But I want answers and I know that you do to, am I correct?" his voice was so sweet all I could do was nod. "I will see you later."

I expected him to disappear like he always seemed to do. But instead he rapped his hands around my waist, causing me to breathe quickly. I rapped my hands around his neck savoring in the feeling. And he kissed my forehead. The kiss seamed to send healing electricity waves. I buried my head into his chest not wanting to leave this position.

How could something so wrong feel so right? He could kill me any second just like he dose with other people. He was the monster. It was beauty and the beast. The only problem was that he was both. He was indeed beautiful and I was not. And he seemed so good it was as if there was no beast. So what was I, the sitting duck?

He slowly put me on the ground and unrapped himself. I wanted to scream and throw a tantrum like a little 2 year old. I wanted him to hold me again. We were back to staring in each others eyes.

"Be home at 12:00 am." He whispered in my ear.

And then he was gone.

**REVIEWS HELP ME!**


	24. The Meeting

If he hadn't noticed in the car maybe he wouldn't notice now

**I am really, really, really, really, really, reaalllyyyyyy SORRY! I have not updated in like over a week and I apologize. But I have had dance company placements, I am a day camp consoler, I help with vacation bible school at my church, I babysit, and I have my best friend is moving on Friday and I have been trying to spend as much time with her as possible. So cut me some slack plzz. Ok I listened to Smother me by The used, Lips of an Angel by Hinder, and Hide and Seek by Imogen Heap while writing this. Maybe you should listen while reading. Ok here you go…..**

If he hadn't noticed in the car maybe he wouldn't notice now. Well he hadn't really got a good look in the car. I slipped on a tank top for the first time in what felt like forever. I then slipped on a pair of pajama shorts. It was 11:55.

I took each step carefully down the stairs. I walked out on to the porch turned on the light and plopped down on the couch. I took the cross in my hands and watched it play in the light.

Why did I all of a sudden feel so care free? I had had a stressful day with everyone at school. I was terrified that Phil would show up. And I had a meeting of questions and answers in about 3 minutes. Yet I felt oddly at ease. Well as at ease as I could be.

That was when I heard a slight flutter. I turned to the side. There perched on the porch was a Raven and a Monarch butterfly, in the dead of night. And if you looked just beyond that you would see the one and only Edward Cullen leaning on my red truck. I heard the faint sound of the clock chiming in the background. Right on time.

In that moment he was in front of me.

"How do you know?" His voice was calm but demanding.

"I have my sources." I didn't know what to say. I couldn't tell him I was helped by a dead pre werewolf.

He closed his eyes and let out a breath. "Bella, tell me now?" ok really demanding.

I was not scared, but continued to look fearless. That's when I heard it.

"Elizabeth Masen." A ghostly whisper howled. It's the only thing I could think to say.

"Elizabeth Masen." I blurted. He looked shocked, then angry, then sad, then curious.

"How do you know that name?" he asked.

I suddenly felt the lips of a woman at my ear. "He is my baby boy." She whispered.

"Your mother." I said my eyes glazing as I had the conversation of the living dead and dead.

He jumped and picked me up by my arms, shaking me. "What do you know of her?! How do you know this?!" He screamed making me cringe for the first time.

"Tell him to not talk to a lady in such a manner!" she screeched.

"She says not to talk to a lady in such a manner." I replied in monotone.

He loosened his grip and his eyes seemed to grow smaller as he looked down. He looked as if he were going to burst with grief.

"Why is she not in heaven?" He whispered "Where is heaven?" I could not answer the question so I continued to look him. That's when a beautiful woman with bronze hair and green eyes appeared next to Edward. Edward jumped from the coolness and electricity.

"My job is not done." She answered.

"Her job is not done." I said louder.

"What job?" he asked.

"Raising my child." She walked to the wing chime and ran her fingers over the bars making it clang. There was no wind and Edward had noticed, causing him to jump.

"Raising you." Once the words had come from my mouth he had suddenly punched one of the posts on the porch making it snap instantly. I was scared but to spaced to react.

"I am 108! I believe I have been raised!" He raged. I sat on the sofa and so did Elizabeth. The couch pillow dented slightly next to me. Edward noticed once again and jumped. If this was not such a serious moment I probably would have found it humorous by how a vampire could be afraid of a polite little Casper.

"But he is not complete." She sighed. "And tell him he must not argue with me." she said in a motherly stern voice.

"She says that you are not complete." He opened his mouth to say something. I don't know if it was my less human side but I some how beat a vampire to something. "And she says not to argue with her." I rushed.

She touched my cheek and bent her ghostly lips to my ear. "You," she whispered. And then she was gone, and I snapped out of it. I think Edward had a feeling she was gone too because he was staring blankly at me. Her presence was no longer there.

He slowly walked toward me as if not to scare me. I looked at him and he suddenly turned around, picking up the post he had broken. He held it up "Sorry." He said setting it by the door. Then so fast it made me dizzy he was kneeling in front of me.

I had my knees to my chest while my head rested on them. And we just gazed. His hand ever so slowly touched my cheek. He moved as if one wrong move would kill me. I continued to gaze into his eyes till I finally found what was lying within them-fascination.

"You talk to them." He whispered. It was not a question, but I answered.

"Duh." It was barely hearable, but sent my most favorite sound radiating around us. His bell like laugh. I however was not quite ready to laugh.

"Why?" I whispered.

"What?" he questioned, suddenly serious.

"Do you not think about their families before you drain them? And why do you prefer to hold me hostage." Each word I said caused my voice to rise with anger. He looked surprised and then angry.

"I do no such thing!" he yelled. "Yes I am a monster! But I would never harm you! Nor would I harm an innocent! A guilty…. Maybe." He said.

I stared at him in awe. Way to overwhelmed to speak. What now? He was on the other side of the porch looking out into the now raining night.

"Why do you want me to harm you?" his voice was just a whisper, but I caught it perfectly and I don't know if he wanted me to or not.

And I had the answer.

"Because I would rather be dead and healed……. then alive and scarred." I said in an emotionless voice.

His eyes snapped up looking extremely sad. He obviously did not expect an answer.

And with that I turned and allowed him to see my scars.


	25. Complete Me

I advise you to listen to Texas Angel by Honeybrowne while reading this

**I advise you to listen to Texas Angel by Honeybrowne while reading this. Me and my fam are good friends with the band. And listen to Forever and Always by Bullet for My Valentine. They help the mood. Ok your reviews made me want to write SOMETHING. So I stirred this up. so read………..**

I ran my hand over her scars. It shook and I tried to figure out why. I didn't know if it was shaky because I was so furious that someone had done this to my love, I mean Bella. Or was I so ecstatic that she had trusted me enough to show me this.

She gasped from the contact, and then sighed from the coolness. I rested my palm fully on her right wound. I soon found that it was not just my hand that shook. Bella was shaking with sobs as well. I could not stand the painful sounds she was making. I turned her around and embraced her. And she hugged back.

"You don't hate me? She whimpered.

"No! Why would you ever think that?" I knew I was probably being too aggressive, but it was preposterous that I would ever hate her.

"I am ruined." She sobbed, holding on to me tighter. On different circumstances this would have been the best feeling. But she was in pain and someone had caused it.

"Who did this?" I said with venom toward the cutter. She did not say anything, but she did scream and hold on tighter. Each tear she cried each slash I wanted to take to this monster that did this.

I suddenly felt we couldn't be here anymore. I grabbed her tighter. I thought she would crunch.

"Hold on." I whispered. I began to run to the only place I could think of. She didn't even know when I stopped.

I sat her in the grass of my secret meadow taking my place beside her. The little time that I loosened my grip she screamed again.

"Don't leave me, don't leave me, don't leave me….." she chanted. "That's all they do." That I could promise.

"I will NEVER leave you." I promised. Her head snuggled into the crook of my neck. I could feel the sweet tears hot tears run down my neck as I inhaled the sent of her hair.

Should I say it? Should I say what I've known since I first laid eyes on her? Should I say what will piss my family off? Should I say what may send her running and screaming? And right then she beat me to it.

"I love you." She whispered. The felling that coursed through me was unnatural. I wanted to run around and scream like a homeless man that just won the lotto. Not even having to think, I answered.

"I love you more then you could ever know." I said, pulling her face up so that she could see the truth in my eyes. All though her face was tear stained she looked beautiful as always. Especially in the moon light as her face glowed.

And as she looked into my monstrous eyes she must have spotted something because her perfect full lips twitched up slightly.

"That's it smile." I coaxed. It's all I wanted to see at the moment. I was probably grinning like an idiot, but I was too lost in her to know.

And she did. It was troubled but it was there. I smiled so hard I thought my face would hurt. Then she began to sob once again. I began to panic.

"Bella-"

"I always knew I could see the dead. I had no idea I could see angels." She said holding me tighter.

_ME! An angel?_ She has the tables turned on that one. But my smile came back involuntary.

"Shhhhhh…. I am no angel. I believe you have me confused with yourself my love." It felt good to finally call her that. I had always wanted to say that after hearing my mother and father all the time. She scoffed and I readjusted my grip on her while chuckleing.

_My mother. What had she meant? Complete._

**Flashback. 1914 Edward is 13.**

_"Mother, I do not wish to dance with the girls!" Edward yelled. _

_Not like he didn't like the girls. He was a full blood male with newly found feelings for girls, but they all seemed to be shallow and stupid. The only thing that gave him hope was his mother. She was the opposite of shallow and stupid. That's the only thing that kept him going._

_"Oh really, and what do you wish to do?" Elizabeth Chuckled, trying once again to fix his messy mop hair._

_At that question a wicked grin plastered onto Edwards face. "Battle! I want to kill, and defend my country!" Edward jumped off the stool and began making fighting actions. "I want to watch them bleed!" he yelled, throwing his arms in the air._

_Slight giggles made their way from the door way. Sure enough two teenaged girls had made their way upstairs. Elizabeth shook with laughter and shoed them away giggling, as Edward blushed scarlet. God how he hated the giggling._

_"Don't worry dear." Elizabeth cooed. "You don't need to worry with such things, like war." She said. Edward stepped back on to the stool so his mother could continue tailoring._

_"One day you will find a young woman that will complete you." She sighed._

_Edward blushed once again. "Ha! But I will be fighting-"_

_Elizabeth stuck him with a pin before Edward could finish his sentence. They both busted out laughing._

_"Well Mother, lets get this over with shall we?" he jumped from the stool and out the door._

_"Be a gentleman!" She yelled after him, shaking her head._

**End Flashback.**

That was it. Bella was it. Bella was what my mother and I had been waiting for. She was the young woman that completed me. Because that's exactly how I felt.

Corny as it may sound. She completed me.

The wind blew her sent toward me, but I had no thoughts of killing. Just thoughts of her.

But the wind did not stop and I felt suddenly cold. I looked down at Bella and she was once again glazed in that look she had before.

"Edward…." She began. "She is in peace." She finished. I nodded and smiled knowing who she was talking about. But at that moment I heard my name being called by a voice I thought I would never hear again.

There right in front of me was my mother. She looked just as beautiful as I remembered. She waved one more time before disappearing.

I squeezed Bella till I thought she would brake, but she didn't seem to mind.

"Thank you." I whispered.

And she smiled the true smile that I had wanted to see all night. The one were here beautiful brown eyes seemed to twinkle. She smiled till she fell asleep as a hummed her lullaby that I had written for her.

This is how I wanted to stay. Forever and for always.

But I knew, the peace would not last for long. I had a feeling all hell was about to break loose.

But Bella would not leave my side if even hell froze over.

_**Review, they encourage me. We get going on the next chap. Now GO! Review!**_


	26. Back To Reality

Normally the cold would bother people who were sleeping, but I found the cold very comforting

**I am finally able to update. The thing is, now I don't really know where I am going and I am playing the story by ear. I wanted to make this chapter long, but I don't really know what I am going to do next. So I will try to make the next chapter accomplish more. It's been really hard lately, and I am glad you all understand. I live next door to my cousins and my cousin Andy died in a car crash. So I might not be updating as much because this story is pretty much about the way I think of death. And right now I am questioning myself. If that makes sense to you. Ok on a brighter note of my pathetic 13 year old life, I got my first REAL kiss at camp! Hahaha! Ok read and review!**

Normally the cold would bother people who were sleeping, but I found the cold very comforting. Especially when you are waking up in the cold arms of Edward.

I opened my eyes slightly letting them adjusts to the light. When I pried them open fully I saw the most beautiful thing. It was Edward sparkling in the early morning light. The grass of the beautiful meadow swayed around his statue like figure. I was speechless besides the gasp that escaped my lips.

He snapped his head up immediately to see me. He wore a worried look on his face.

"Don't be afraid." He whispered, touching my cheek. I leaned into his touch and inhaled.

"I am not you silly vampire. But you should get out of the sun before you explode or melt or something." I said slightly serious. He boomed with laughter and I couldn't help but smile. I hadn't seen him like this since that one day at lunch.

"Silly human." He sighed "We do need to get back though. School is going to start."

I groaned but he ignored it, offering his hand. I gladly took it knowing the wonderful feeling I would get. Then he surprised me.

"Jump on my back." He said sounding excited. Ok that took me off guard. This was kind of soon for that in the relationship but I wasn't complaining.

He took in my expression and chuckled. He grabbed my arm and pulled it over his neck until I had no choice but to jump on.

"Hold on spider monkey." And with that we were off.

I opened my mouth to speak, but it filled with air and I couldn't talk. I closed it and turned my head to the side. But I did not see a forest, just a green blur. I couldn't tell if I were being still or moving. If I had ever been spooked, it was now.

Then it all stopped. And it stopped too abruptly. I felt dizzy, my stomach was screaming, and my chest was tight from holding my breath.

"Bella?" I heard a musical concerned voice say.

"I. Cant. Move." I said slowly.

_Please don't throw up, please don't throw up, please don't throw up……._

"Bella." The urgency of his voice pulled me from my frenzy. He sat me down to face him and I ignored the dizziness. He looked like he was trying hard to control him self.

"Stop trying and just tell me." I tried to sound comforting. Whatever this was I didn't like it.

"Trust me Bella if I didn't hold in some things you would be dead. You are my singer." He said seriously. I blushed for some strange reason. This surprised him; he was probably expecting me to take off.

As soon as the happy and surprised expression appeared it turned into one of urgency and he spoke again.

"Alice had a vision. Phil is in your drive way with your mother. They want the house and some money. They did some legal searching and found an argument. I can't be seen in front of them, in the sun like this." He paused and looked at me. I felt mute. Like I wanted to scream and run but just couldn't.

"I am going to sneak you in through the back. You go outside and get them on the shade of the porch. I will be out after that." He spoke in a hurry and all that I could get out of it was that I was going to have to speak to Phil, to _see Phil_, to be in the same presence as a _monster_.

Then again I would need another word. Apparently monsters could be angels.

Edward rubbed away the tears that I hadn't realized were on my cheeks. One second we are perfectly at peace and now we are back to reality.

"Shhh… hold on sweetie." He whispered. He gently placed me on his back. The way he simply leaped to my bed room window without anyone noticing reminded me of spider man. He pried me from his back and laid me on my bed, kissing away the tears that were still flowing from my eyes.

He slowly sauntered to my closet. I heard a chuckle and then he was back in front of me with a shirt that had Blue from Fasters Home for Imaginary Kids printed on it.

I giggled and grabbed the shirt, throwing it on. Suddenly there was a creek coming from the stairs. Edward and I snapped our heads to my bedroom door. My heart rate accelerated and I'm guessing Edward heard it because he placed a calming hand on my shoulder.

Alice stepped hesitantly through my door. She looked at me then at Edward. Then she did something that I didn't expect.

I was being embraced by a tiny little vampire.

"Oh Bella! I am so sorry! I didn't see this coming!" she gushed.

"Huh?" I remembered Edward saying something about visions but I didn't understand.

"I can see the future." She talked as if she were having a conversation about the weather. "Kind of like how Edward can read minds." What!

I swirl jumped around and looked at Edward with a shocked expression. He could hear me all along? What the hell? I could feel the heat rising to my cheeks.

He laughed! "Don't worry. I can't hear you. Your thoughts are safe with yourself." He chuckled

I let out a huge sigh of relief.

"You need to go down stairs Bella." Alice said, snapping me back to reality.

I could feel my breath coming in quick pants as Alice led me down the stairs. This was it. I couldn't think of what to do. I stopped, Alice could have pulled me easily, but she didn't.

I looked around franticly for an excuse from reality. I looked around for a sign, for something to do. And I could only think of one thing. I dropped to my knees and grabbed my necklace.

"Yea, though I walk through the shadow of the valley of death, I fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff, they comfort me." I sobbed.

A knock sounded at the door. I looked up. Alice and Edward seemed to be hiding; I knew they where their. The door bell rang.

"Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies;" I stood up "Thou annointest my head with oil;" I walked slowly toward the door. I looked behind me; Edward seemed to have walked himself up the roof, in a true vampire position. He looked at me with determination and nodded for me to open the door.

"My cup runneth over." I placed my shaky hand on the door knob.

"Amen."


	27. Reunion

I know that the chapters are short

**I know that the chapters are short. It's just that I don't want to not update and make a long chapter and then yall lose interest in my story. I will be gone all next week so I didn't want to not update for so long. BUT reviews do help me write! I didn't get as many last time so I didn't really enjoy the writing. So HELP!**

Renee looked as though she was one of the dead. Her mahogany hair was matted and her usually tanned skin was about as pale as it could get, almost like an olive tone. Aside from that her eyes were very swollen from tears. All though my body was soaked in relief that it wasn't Phil behind the door, I was more saddened then ever. This is not the Renee I left behind.

"Bella" it was barley below a whisper.

I stood there shocked. This was the women who I thought was my best friend. This was the woman who never called me. This was the woman that chose a man before her daughter. This was a woman who was trying to take away my happiness. Yet all I wanted to do was hug her. And as much as I wanted to, I didn't.

"Say something." She squeaked. It was the weakest I had ever seen Renee.

I said nothing and continued to stare with out letting any of the many emotions I was feeling betray me.

"Damnit Bells." She moved slowly but it was as if she were so fast I couldn't stop her. She grabbed my right arm twisting me around, grabbing the hem of my shirt and lifting it up.

She gasped and I let a tear escape from behind my lids. I could practically hear the tears hitting the floor. Hatefully I hoped that each drop contained shame, maybe guilt. As her fingers traced the scars it didn't feel like it did when Edward or Mema came in contact with them.

It hurt but felt good at the same time. Kind of like when you have kept a secret for a really long time and you finally tell it and get it off your shoulders.

"Bella…I…I" she stuttered.

"Yeah mom, you never new. You were to drunk; it's not your fault." I spat. I was angry. She had only contributed to my pain these past couple of moths. She had pretty much abandoned me.

Before I had come to Forks she constantly asked me why I would want to come here. Well I would set her strait. Right now. Right here. I would block out all audiences; dead, alive… the living dead.

Her face was hurt and for a moment I felt bad, but not for long. She got defensive.

"Isabella Mari Swan, you will not talk to me that way. I am your mother, and I will be treated with res"

"My mother!" I interrupted "The only reason you are my mother is because you gave birth to me!" I had never yelled at my mother before. We had never had a fight. I had to admit, this felt good.

"You will shut your mouth! I always did what was best for you." She defended screaming just as loud as I had.

"What's best for me? What's best for me?!" I yelled. The door was open and I saw that the sun that was unusually out this morning was now hidden by rain clouds.

"I was always able to get you the best help!" "Am I helped Mom? Look at me. Do I look like I am fine?!" "No! You were never fine! There was always something wrong with you!" She sobbed.

I looked beyond her and saw Edward looking at me from the corner of the room. I didn't want him to hear this, but this could be my only chance.

"Did you ever think that maybe there wasn't something wrong with me? That maybe there was something wrong with you, wanting to hook me up to wires, pop me pills trough a pez, give me countless MRI's? Maybe that is what was wrong huh?" I finished. She looked taken aback but quickly recovered.

"I put food in your mouth and found a good place for you to stay! You didn't have a father but so many father figures."

"Hmmm… let me ask you something." I paused trying to put this into words. Edward was going to hear this. I didn't really care, he would still love me.

"You remember Jeff? Is a good father figure some one who touches my thigh under the dinner table? When I am only 11 years old did I forget to mention that?" My voice grew an octave with each word. "You remember Tom? Is a good father figure someone who doesn't feed you when your mom is out of town?" I paused to let what I was saying soak in. "Is a father figure someone who cuts me?" I whispered.

She looked struck. I think I hit a nerve.

Edward appeared behind her in seconds, catching her before she hit the ground.

He looked at me with a look I did not want. The look I dreaded to see on his face.

_Pity._

He laid her on the couch gently; his eyes never leaving mine.

Now he new me completely.

He took steps that seemed to be unnaturally slow for him. But all his movements around me seemed to be unnaturally slow. I was like a soap bubble. That was our relationship, unnatural. But at the same time so much more natural then you'll ever know.

He stroked my tear stained cheek and kissed away the water. His pale hand rubbed my arm, cooling my skin.

And in one sudden movement he snapped his head at a way to fast speed.

A low growl came from his chest and I was so numb I didn't know what it was about.

How could this happen? I felt my body shutting down bit by bit.

I could see Emmet Cullen's burly figure suddenly walk across the yard and crouch down behind a shrub.

What was going on? I heard a hum of a car and realization set in.

Phil was here.


	28. A True Monster

I'm Sorry

**I'm Sorry! I didn't know where to go with the chapter! I didn't know how I wanted Bella to react or anything! I am playing the chapter by ear, remember? Forgive me! Yall review and I feel so bad that I am not updating fast. I hate it, and its okay if you hate me to. I will just go cry now….**

It's amazing how my vampire mind can seem to process fast situations slowly, dissecting every movement.

My emotions were running at a high, all this information crashing down upon me. Yet my eyes and ears were alert.

_Okay, she had her chance to say hello. Now it is time to get down to business. Alright take a right on Eclipse…._

A low growl escaped my chest unable to contain itself. His car and his god awful smell approached the drive way.

The only bit of my being that was not in rage was concentrating on Bella. Her legs were shaky as she dropped to her knees to pull up her mother's shirt and Phil pulled up. She did it slowly, but it did nothing for her when she saw the scars. I could hear her heart beating to fast and to loudly, and the blood stop pumping to her brain. That is why I was there to catch her before her head hit the floor.

I swooped her up in my arms and to her room. I decided I did not want her to be around this, for I had made my mind up. I was going to kill this man.

I breathed in her sent as I placed a kiss on her forehead, and left the room. I was down stairs before He had even stepped onto the porch.

"Renee!" he yelled. I turned back to Renee, and saw that she had yet to awake.

His orange hair was formed a crop circle around his bald head. His evil eyes were a way to murky hazel. His skin was anything but clear and it looked as if he was permanently sun burned. A true ugly person. A true monster himself.

I stepped out onto the porch slightly scaring him. He composed his self.

"Is this the Swan residents?" He croaked, still trying to be manly. Emmet snickered, from behind the tree.

Oh yes, He was scared. Prey was always better when it was scared. I couldn't particularly blame him. I saw myself through his mind. My nostrils were flared my eyes intent and livid. My fists were balled and my muscles flexed. A true monster. But now that I think about it, maybe I am not.

"Yes" I growled.

_He must know. Shit ………._

"Look kid, what do you think you're going to do about it? I don't know you and you don't know me. So just go get my wife and you can go home and forget you ever saw anything." _That should have had intimidated him enough_ "And bring Isabella out here while your at it." _Wow he seems….inhuman._

At the mention of Isabella, I exploded. That was the only word for it. Emmet and Jasper were barely able to catch me.

I was snarling and growling, showing my teeth as venom pulled to my mouth. Kill. Kill this man. I my shirt was ripping, as my form tried to get to his fear stricken one.

_Where did they come from! Come on Phil you could take him. Maybe not the big one, and in the in there is always a law suit. _

"You think you can do anything! I suggest you get my wife, and I will give you this." He held up a white piece of paper.

Slowly I untangled myself, my anger being muffled by interest. Jasper must of felt it because he let go of me, taking a step toward him to get the paper; he was not trusting me to.

He jerked it from his hands. His stubby fat hands that have done terrible, terrible things. I turned away, not trusting myself to look at this monster. More of a monster then myself.

Jasper was as disgusted with this man as I. and after seeing Bella everyone was.

_I don't know if I can take this Edward. _Jasper said in his mind. I nodded, excusing him.

Once he was far enough in the woods I looked down at the paper.

**Arizona internee and Law**

**The rightful owner in the will of Gertrud Winters is Isabella Swan. But unless there is a domestic issue the house and money goes to Phil and Renee Drywer, the rightful guardians of Isabella Swan. A legal document never supported Gertrude winters as a guardian. The will was also not written and approved before an agent. The will contained no information as to what to do until her granddaughter is 18, which she is not. **

**As for her next chose as care taker for her home, Edward Cullen, we have all too many arguments. He is of no relation and underage. Isabella may have a argument, But Edward does not have nor will he ever have any claim on the property. He can not have any say unless joined with the Swan bloodline by matrimony.**

**He must be married to Isabella, which he is not. He has no permission from his guardians to do so or dose Bella.**

**The Drywers are not interested in the business, just the last of the proceedings. **

**I propose that my clients get the property and values, plus the re guardian ship of Isabella Swan. **

**I will be willing to take my argument to court. **

**Lawyer, **

**James Doomsmirk**

Oh, so he wanted to take it to court did he? I could catch him on this. He was messing with the wrong person.

I looked up to see him looking slightly cocky.

"You think that's the only thing _Isabella_ could take to court?" I questioned with anger.

He seemed to have processed it and his eyes went wide.

"I have a good lawyer who can easily get me out of that. There is nothing you can do. If I had the chose I would let you have Bella, but where is the fun in that?"

That was it. I picked up the card table with ease, and threw it across the road and into the trees, screaming as it flew.

I stocked toward him to fast for Emmet. I picked him up by the collar staring him in the eye as he shook with fear, not believing his eyes.

I could hear Renee stirring.

"Edward" Emmet said, between clenched teeth "Let go of him" he warned, but in his mind he also wanted to tare this thing to shreds.

I threw his body to the ground and into the dirt, not caring enough to _put_ him down. He was shaking as he watched me rip the document in two, throw it at him, and spit venom saliva right in his face.

He was taken aback as he slowly stood, terrified beyond belief. He was still angered, but I would knock that out of him. I could hear the couch squeaking.

_Oh no, she must be outside with Phil. How could I have once loved him? No, but I have to…._

I had to make this quick.

"If you ever lay a hand on Bella or Renee _Ever _again, you won't have to worry about filing a law suit against me when I beat your ass. You won't have to worry about defending yourself in court. Because I. WILL_. KILL. _YOU." I threatened. He stumbled back a bit and I wouldn't be surprised if his eyes were permanently. I could see the vein popping In his forehead.

"Phil?" Renee stood on the porch with a worried look on her face.

"Come on honey, lets go." He demanded. She nodded and did as he told; not wanting to provoke him. She made her way to the SUV with one last fleeting look at the house. The look was for Bella.

Phil stepped past me and I resisted the urge to simply turn and snap his neck. So easy. So close.

He held his hand on the handle and to my dismay, mustered up enough courage to speak.

_I get the last word._

"I'll see you in court." He said, before he got in his car and pulled away.

So he thought he got the last word?

"I'll see YOU in hell!" I spat, before I went back towards the house where my Bella was.

**I know it's too much to ask, but can yall review**?


	29. Cry

**Okay yall! Yall told me to update faster and I did. It wasn't fast but it was faster then last time, that's for sure. This chapter is just one of the main points in the story but it dose not have anything to do with the problem. I am trying to make this story a growing inspiring experience seeing as I am out of temporary state of depression. Which I have been depressed way longer then that so you are lucky that I am out! Or this story would have died. So just sit back, relax, and enjoy the chapter. But don't forget to hit the 'Go' button at the bottom of the page. I want some feed back. Nothing is for free :)**

I wondered why the Cullen's kitchen had to have everything. I new they were just props but they had _everything. _And everything was the best of the best, the things you saw in Ikea magazines; the huge refrigerator, just… everything. It makes you wonder what people who actually cooked and ate would do to get this.

It was in this kitchen that I had awoken in, and was now trying to drown out everything I didn't want to hear.

"I think we should look over the document for one more stable argument before we state the ones we have." Carlisle said.

Of course I had drowned out a majority of what everybody was arguing about. I guess you could say that I haven't really been here even though I was in the room. I just guess I got the blue print of the situation.

My mother decided to return so that she could drag me back to something she _knew _was not good. I could ignore all the other things; I might lose the house and the money and everything that was important to Mema. I might go back to Phil. My mother was being abused as I had, and I wanted to help her.

Yet out of all those things, I could only focus on this; my mother did not want to help me. She wanted to drag me back into it with her. And that was the only thing that my brain seemed to process. She could leave. She had proven that she could do that.

"There is something more we can do." I heard Alice say.

If there was something I had paid attention to since I woke up, it was Edward. At that moment his head shot up and looked at Alice and then to me. His gaze lingered on me and I stared back, drinking him in. He looked at me with something that I couldn't make out. And then he shot his head right back to Alice.

"Maybe we should talk about this in the office." Carlisle suggested. They all nodded and left the kitchen.

Before leaving, Edward ran his hand along my cheek. I closed my eyes and leaned into his touch, breathing him in.

"I'll be upstairs." He whispered. I began to panic. I did not want him out of reach. He seemed to notice this. "I will come back if you call me, it won't be long." I calmed at his words. I took a deep breath and nodded. Then he disappeared, just as always.

The silence of the kitchen was unsettling, and I could hear the ticking of the clock above the stove. I looked down at the untouched soup that Esme had made for me. Reluctantly I took a sip.

I was not a particularly picky eater and the soup was good. But I couldn't help comparing it to Mema's soup. And suddenly it was not so appealing.

Was this what grief was? I could tell you what it was like to die but not to lose someone.

I always recognized grief as a person going into the person's they had lost closet and smelling their cloths, trying to remember that person. I recognized grief as maybe a person not wanting to remember that person, drowning themselves in alcohol. Sometimes people just wanted to get the funeral and arrangements over with so that they could get on with their life.

I had always seen death as something that was desired or something unimportant. I guess I never understood what I was saying when I told people to just cross over. I guess I don't know the ways of death like I thought I did. I guess I just don't understand it. Kind of like everybody else.

No one really knew what it was; it was something you where terrified of, something you wanted, something you hated, or something you just didn't think about. Or you could look at it the way Mema did; Hope. Hope that one day you will have relief given to you rather then forcing it. Hope to step on the clouds.

But I just didn't know. So I don't really no how to do this whole grief thing. And I didn't want to focus on it. I could really only focus on one thing at a time and right now it was my situation.

I took in a shaky breath. I needed some fresh air.

The air seemed to clear my head as I sat on the steps of the porch. Esme's garden was really a site to see. You could almost smell each flower but in the end it all morphed together. Creating what I guess was a floral smell.

I was probably dosing off a bit. That's why when the back door clicked I jumped about two feet.

"Sorry" said a beautiful voice. And of course it was a beautiful person with blonde hair and a killer body, Rosalie, the last person I would expect to see in my presence on her own free will.

I was suspicions of what she was doing out hear. I was slightly terrified of her; always sending me death glares across the cafeteria for no apparent reason. It's not like she new that I new what she was. Plus she had not said a word to me when the family had officially introduced themselves.

This could go to ways: She could yell at me or eat me.

But she surprised me by being civil "Can I sit with you?" she asked. Me?

"Sure" I said.

She seemed to float to the step below me. We didn't talk, and I studied a caterpillar nibbling on a leaf. It seemed to be a peaceful silence, maybe a little awkward but okay none the less. That was until she decided to break it.

"Sometimes…I'm glad that I can't sleep." She said. I don't know if she was leading up to something but I would take it. I assumed she wanted a reply.

"Why?" I asked.

"Because I know what I would have nightmares about… I…. It was all I could picture when ever I would close my eyes for awhile." She took in my expression that said that I wasn't following.

She sat up straighter taking an unnecessary breath.

"Bella, do you have nightmares?" she asked hesitantly.

What would happen if I told her? What would she do? What would it matter? What was she doing?

I quickly plastered on an emotionless face. I could do this quick and painless.

"Yeah" I said.

She looked at me as if she was consecrating or struggling, in a beautiful way of course.

"In those nightmares….. Did you ever see their faces?" she seemed nervous at this.

Sure, I had seen many faces. Some were dead, some not dead yet still haunting. I didn't know what she was aiming at, but I could recall faces. Not of the monsters that haunted most nightmares, like vampires, but my monsters. I saw the weird look of satisfaction or frustration as they did things to me or before they took a swing, or placed the blade. Those looks seemed to take a piece of me that I would never get back.

"I saw their eyes." I said. "I heard their voices." I took a deep breath "I felt it." I don't know why I was being candid, but I guess if she was I could be also.

She looked up at me. I expected to see something like confusion, a blank expression. But I saw what seemed to be a bit of pity, but not totally; Understanding, maybe even…. relief?

"I know how you feel." She said.

It was silent after that and I wondered if she was going to tell me the reasoning for her questions.

"I was raped before I was changed. I guess….. I just want to see if it could get any worse. I just want to know that I don't have a reason to dwell on it; I don't have a reason to talk about it. I haven't talked about it in years, not even with Emmet. Edward knows I think about it but he knows I don't want it approached." She paused and looked down at the dirt "I guess I just wanted to say thanks, for helping me see that I was being a baby. And I'm sorry for being so crabby to you."

I got what she was saying. She was saying that if she didn't have it the worse then she didn't have the right to cry or think about it; let it affect her.

I had no idea what to say, so I just nodded.

But I wanted to say something. I wanted to stop her in the middle of what she was saying. I wanted to tell her that she was not being a baby. That it was a terrible thing that would always be dwelled upon unless she talked about it. I wanted to tell her that people should know that it was on her mind. I wanted to tell her to cry. I wanted to tell her she was wrong.

But who would I be to do that? A hypocrite. She was just like me, thinking the same way I thought. She didn't want pity or help. I had seen spirits murdered by their own children and just thought "I don't have it the worst. I don't have anything to cry about compared to these people." I had no reason to get help.

But I had _something_ to cry about. And look at me now?

So now she was lifting herself up at a human pace. She was going to go back into that house thinking what she thought. Thinking like me.

I couldn't let her do that.

"Wait." I said. She immediately stopped, looking at me curiously.

"What is it?" she asked after my silence. I should just say it.

"You don't have everything to cry about… but you have something." I realized that as I was telling her this, I was also telling myself. And the realization hit me, causing a lump to rise in my throat. "A terrible thing happened, and you can never forget it. And that is sad. And you need to talk about it." I rushed out trying to beat my tears with my words. But it was only to get it out, because all of a sudden… I didn't care if she saw me cry. I noticed that she was taking steps toward me.

"You have to get help." I choked "Or you'll end up like me…. scarred." And now I was sobbing.

Suddenly I was rapped in a comforting, cold embrace. At first it was hesitant and careful. But I hugged back to make it full. And for once took the tad bit of pity. As for my scars… they didn't burn as they were met by her touch. It was just as it had been with Mema… and with Edward. And we hugged tighter with each sob but she was careful. Soon we each had are faces buried in each other's hair.

And we cried, which you didn't really need tears to do.

We cried for each other, and for the first time, I admitted to myself…. That I was crying for me.

And as I cried I realized that I had helped Rosalie. Which was the first step to helping myself.

I watched my tears hit her shirt and soak into the fabric and it was then that I realized it. I had finally let myself be truly comforted with out putting my distress with a reason. And it was such a relief…..

I was crying tears of joy.


	30. Can I ask you Something?

I wanted it so bad that I hated myself for wanting it

**1) Go find a stuffed animal.**

**2) Pretend the stuffed animal is me**

**3) Beat it**

**I am sooooo sooorrrryyyy for not updating. I am a terrible author! I have been using my step dad's computer, which I can't write on, but now I have mine. Today is my last day of summer! Tomorrow I will be starting 8****th**** grade! Yay! And I mean that in the most sarcastic way possible! This should be fun; I now have to pass all my TAKS tests this year. Joy…… **

**Anyhow, since school is starting I think I may be updating more because I am not always gone during the year. So that is the small silver lining. Okay let's read the next chapter….**

I wanted it so bad that I hated myself. She had her whole life ahead of her, and if she were to marry me it would be anything but normal. Then again her life isn't normal, but the weight of an undead husband would surly put the icing on the weirdness cake.

But she would be safe; I would take care of her.

But she wouldn't be safe; she will be risking her life every second she was with me. That is if she is not changed…. _No!_

_Edward yes! I need her! She totally needs me! We need her! You don't have to change her now! Change her when she is ready, you know it's gonna happen! You can't bet against Alice!_

"Shut up Rosalie" I whispered, knowing she could hear me. She had no right to have a say in this; she never even liked Bella till last night.

Yet the conversation did change the way I look at Rose. Hell it changed the way I looked at Bella.

_Bella _

My frozen skin heated just the slightest bit at the very thought of her; something so beautiful with such a mind; a mind that made no sense in the most amazing way. She was somewhere in the middle of life and death, just as I was.

A slight shift and a sudden stir in the air that was practically poisoned with the mouthwatering sent, got my attention. She rolled once more before settling her cheek on my chest and her foot tangled in mine.

_Ah Bella_

The warmth was unreal and it shot from my skin, through my dry veins, and to my dead heart; making me swear that I heard it beat.

If only everything was okay. If only I was human.

Without being able to help myself, I reached out and stroked her hair. The mahogany locks glided with my fingers.

"Edward…" she muttered sleepily. It was defiantly the best sound ever.

"I'm here Love." I whispered. I would always be there.

That's why I knew that I had to do this.

I didn't have to change her if she didn't want it. I didn't have to worry about damning her soul. I must have one or she wouldn't be here. This is why this whole vampire thing happened; I was waiting for her.

But I could give her some time. She should know her options. And if she doesn't pick the option that as me then….good; sucks for me, but its good. Although legally it is best that she marry me, it is a very stupid move at the same time.

"Mmmm… I love you Edward…" the smile would be on my face for days. I had always been told that I was loved, but it didn't compare to anyone when she said it. I leaned into her warmth.

Watching her sleep was the best past time. And I could not live with myself if I couldn't do it. What if I couldn't do it because she was living with Phil- I mean Satan. The thought of Phil almost sent me out the window and on a quest to snap his neck very slowly.

But one thing kept me in this room; a girl. Eh, maybe I was too young when I was changed. Only a 17 year old boy…

But she was more then just a girl. She was an exquisite gift and a brain that actually functioned. It functioned beyond my own.

And this wonderful girl was sadly in a situation that she didn't deserve. And I could not take that.

If she were mine, nothing bad would ever happen to her. I can't believe I am saying this, but compared to that man, I am not a monster. I would make sure she got everything she disserved. And looking down at her tearstained cheek, I wondered if she was thinking about it. All I wanted was for her to think about me.

And as I heard the needle on the inside of the stereo spin on the lines of the CD, making something beautiful come out, I thought that maybe it was a good way to describe me and the angel in front of me.

And with out us, there was no music.

With that thought; I made my decision.

**XXXXXXX**

**BpV**

"I can't believe that this is the same place. But it's just as beautiful." The whole meadow was done up with glowing lanterns and candles. Edward had somehow managed to get my truck in the middle of the meadow and he had draped Christmas lights on it. A little Italian dinner had been set up inside the flatbed of my truck. I was still stuffed.

I walked over to the paper lantern. They looked old and the painted patterns were so intricate.

"Where did you get these?" I asked.

"Hmmm?" he hasn't been paying attention all day. Well not just today, but the past month. I hadn't really been paying attention to the time passing. I knew that each day would just bring us closer to the court date. But still, could he pay attention for two seconds… gah…

Well, he was paying attention to _me_ but not what I was _saying_. And he wasn't paying attention to anyone besides me period. He was still here but distant.

"What is up with you?" I sighed, walking toward him. The black pupils in the center of the golden pools seemed to widen, as if he were just coming back to earth and realizing that I was actually there.

"What?" he squeaked? Edward Cullen squeaked. Something is up.

"I said what is up with you? You have been acting weird all day…" all month…

"Yeah, I just had a lot on my mind." He sighed.

"Me too" I agreed.

He smiled and rubbed his cool stone hand in my scalp.

"Oh, how I wish I knew what went on in that mind of yours."

"You're lucky you don't." I said warily.

I paused for a moment. I knew that Edward didn't like to talk about it, but after Rose told me how this stuff worked; I knew exactly what I wanted. And I know that Edward knows to.

"If I were a Vampire, do you think you would be able to read my mind?" I asked.

He took in a sharp breath. His hand went from my scalp to my neck, and I shuttered at his touch. He closed his eyes pressed his fingers to my pulse point; feeling, listening…

I let out a sigh. I knew I wasn't going to get an answer, so I just decided enjoy the moment.

I gripped his biceps and leaned into his touch, feeling the breeze rustle my hair.

And then the stone hand that I was leaning on was no longer their and I had to catch myself so I wouldn't fall completely on my side.

My anchor was no longer there and it was just me and the wind.

"Bella…" I turned my head toward the beautiful, tortured voice.

Edward once again reminded me of a vampire. He was in that odd position as if he was leaning sideways against nothing. His head cocked in that strange way, and his eyes had got a bit darker. Another lack of control moment.

"Edward…" I began. I didn't get to finish my sentence.

Suddenly I felt my back hit cold steal. And my front felt it too; two cold things.

Edward had backed me up against the truck. His hands were pressed to the car on either side of my face. I was trapped.

His nose ran up my neck and I shivered. Not because he was cold.

My pour heart was going out of control. I don't know if it was because my human instincts had it hammering with fear or if my teenage hormones had it pounding with desire. I was betting on the teenage hormones.

Either way, the sound of my heart pumping blood was not good for Edward's sensitive ears.

He let out a groan before backing away.

"I am so selfish. I can't believe I am going to do this." He muttered to himself, thinking I couldn't hear. What was he going to do?

"I am so sorry for scaring you love." He apologized, stepping forward and taking my warm hand in his cold one, earning a shock.

"You didn't scare me." I said honestly.

"What could scare you? You talk to dead people." He chuckled.

"Well I have always had a fear of the Marshmallow Man from Ghost Busters." He let out one of those hearty laughs at my comment. It was the kind that filled the air with its sweetness, like a siren call.

My laugh was nothing like that. But it could be. We could be equal.

"You are impossible."

I blushed and he brushed his fingers over the red cheek.

"Dance with me." It wasn't a question.

I could feel my eyes popping out of my head.

"Edward! You can't be serious! I can't even walk!" I protested.

"Dance with me." he blew his sweet breath in my face, intoxicating me.

I nodded.

"Stand on my feet." He ordered. I didn't have time to protest before I was picked up and put on his feet.

I searched my head franticly for an excuse.

"There is no music!" Ha, nice one Bella "We can't dance without music!" I yelled.

For about one millisecond I felt as if I were being dropped and then I was back on his feet again.

"Oh, But we do." He whispered.

He must have turned on the car stereo. I recognized For What It's Worth by Buffalo Springfield.

"Gosh Edward, I give you my truck for a day and you go oldies on me." I teased.

"Oldies! This is the 60's. I don't even like the 60's this is just one of the few good songs!" he deafened. I raised an eyebrow.

"Bella, Bella, Bella…. You haven't seen oldies yet. Can you say 1901?" he teased.

I laughed and buried my face into his chest. I stared down at my convers on top of his vans, as he effortlessly swayed to the music.

"Bella" He whispered in my ear. My head shot up, my breath coming out quick.

"Can I ask you something?" He looked nervous for a moment, maybe even pleading.

"Anything" I breathed.

"Would you…umm…" He paused and looked up at the a tree that he had once ripped apart "Uh, go swimming with me. Yeah! Go swimming me!" He picked me up before I could say anything. What is it with him and not waiting for my responses?

I closed my eyes as we moved at lighting speed. And then it stopped.

I opened my eyes to see a pond. It was framed by Weeping Willows, and a tiny water fall rested on the other side. The trees opened up, just like in the meadow. The moon reflected right off the water, lighting the way. It was beautiful.

Only one problem; Bells can't swim. This is embarrassing.

"Umm… Edward, we are in Forks. We can't just go swimming."

"Don't worry. It's like a spring, its warm." He said nonchalantly.

_Think Bella_

"I have nothing to swim in!" I shouted, waving my finger in the air.

I stopped abruptly when I heard the low- "Well…"

I gave him a curious look as to why he was smirking like a Cheshire cat.

"I was thinking we could swim in our knickers." He said in a very good English accent. I would normally be giggling at his voice. But, what did he just say?

"Of course you don't have to." He sighed. He crossed his arms and over himself and grabbed the hem of his shirt; lifting it up… Oh… So…. Slowly.

His abs reminded me of the rocks on the water fall. I could just imagine the water trickling over them.

I was biting my lip so hard I knew I would draw blood so I quickly let go. Now my mouth was hanging open and my eyes were automatically bugging out of my head.

His smirk couldn't get any bigger. This boy doesn't fight fare.

"Or I could go all by myself…" he looked up at me with an impish, boyish grin. " Come on Bells, You're only 17 once." He mused.

_Not if I had it my way_

I didn't want to say anything to dampen his sudden playful mood… so I just shot him the bird.

Edward hanked his head back as he let the bells ring; his laugh echoing off the trees.

God help me. If Mema were here now….

An Edward clad in only a pair of black boxers, one leg in the pond, glowing in the moon light.

What was I doing? This is so worth drowning.

But I was nervous. Edward had seen me in tiny PJ'ss, but never my underwear.

My underwear….

That sneaky little pixie.

This is why she insisted I wear a lacy black Victoria Secret bra and panties set. I can oh so conveniently look sexy for swimming. **(Pic on profile)**

For a second I was thankful. Then I remembered.

About a week ago Edward went hunting and I made my way to La Push to hang out with Jake.

We were in the Ink Shack watching Girls Next Door.

One thing led to another.

Never make a bet with Jacob Black.

I had a tiny playboy bunny head at the top left side of my butt. Is that slutty? I mean it's not even that big… I thought it was cute.

I took a deep breath.

"Umm…. Edward could you turn around?" I asked shyly. My body couldn't be as good as his. I wish _He _would just swim in _His _knickers.

He smiled and nodded, turning his head, but I could have sworn I saw a frown.

I pulled off my shoes and socks, throwing them where ever. I looked back over at Edward and saw that he was obediently gazing at the moon, ever the gentleman. I pulled my shirt of and let it hit the ground. As soon as the 'thud' sounded, I saw Edwards fingers twitch.

Hmmm….

Hehe….

So he thought he could dazzle me…. and I not try to do the same?

I slowly undid the buttons on my pants, making sure the button popped with a "Snap."

He turned his attention to the water fall and began kicking his feet, humming a little.

I slid them down my thighs slowly knowing that he could hear every fabric fiber meat my skin.

I stepped out of my jeans and took a deep breath. I grabbed my pony tail and pooled it out, shaking my head.

Now the hard part; how to swim.

I bit my lip and totally forgot that I was in my underwear.

"Edward." I said in a worried tone as I looked down at the water.

His head whipped around.

I could hear his breath hitch in his throat; loud and clear.

"I can't swim." I admitted, biting my lip again.

**EpV**

Not blood lust. It was lust; pure, sinful, lust.

I had never seen anything more beautiful in my life. Rosalie had nothing.

My eyes prickled, changing color, with each curve I drank in and each tattoo that glistened.

I had to have her.

"I will teach you." I leapt forward at vampire speed.

Her skin was burning fire to my freezing skin and they seem to create one feeling. The water closed in around us, the feeling spread through out the pond.

I was drowning in the sweet sent of her.

Hot+Colddelicious

Love, lust, love……… blood lust.

Her heart was beating like it would bust out of her rib cage as her plump lips meat my every frantic move. Her heart was beating for me, her lips and hands were moving for me, her blood was pumping for me.

She made a beautiful moaning noise. I smelt it; the delicious smell that told me how I affected her, the heat. And I'm sure she felt how she affected me.

Everything was for me. She was _mine._

Her neck was mine. I could go in like I would kiss it and-

I froze.

Control. This was painful.

What was I doing? She was not mine! We are not husband and wife! What the hell was happening? If I hadn't bit her I would have done a little something else and surly killed her.

I had no choice.

I had to make her mine.

Who was I kidding? It didn't matter what species she was she would always be an angle. I was surly going to hell for doing this.

She was going to _stay _with me.

**BpV**

"Did I do something wrong?" why had he stopped. His vibrant green eyes were slowly burning back to Topaz.

"_Of course_ not my love." He insisted. "I don't have control." His eyes were sincerer. He was a good actor.

Rage began to bubble.

"I hate control! I obviously don't have the same affect on you that you do me!" I screamed. I began to squirm but then remembered that I was in a pond. So I pouted. Mature.

"Isabella Swan." when he said my full name I actually didn't mind. His cold fingers lifted my chin to meat his gaze. We had some how made are way under the tiny water fall. The cascading water behind him made a rainbow in the moon light and tiny color stone fragments in the rocks sparkled; much like Edward in the sunlight.

Beads of water dripped from his perfect features and his soaked hair was a shade darker and messily beautiful.

"Believe me when I say, you will be the death of me. And I think you felt the affect you had on me." My cheeks blazed as he looked away. If he were human, he would be blushing. He chuckled at my red cheeks and cupped my face; basking in the warmth.

I was speechless.

His hands went to my back. He traced each scar lightly, closing his eyes. His nostrils flared for an instant and his eyes snapped open.

Brown met Gold.

He rubbed his cool hands down my scars, easing the pain. I sighed in contentment.

"Can I ask you something?" he said with determined look on his face.

"You just did." I teased.

"Ha-ha. Your killing my ego here." He whined

"Okay shoot." I giggled.

"Would you marry me?" **(I was gonna end it here. To evil…)**

_Would you marry me?_

_Would you marry me?_

"What?" huh?

"I know you don't have a good impression on the whole marriage thing but this is us. We could keep Mema's house. This is what we need." He was rambling now. Not helping. I held a finger to his lips to seize his talking.

_Would you marry me?_

He was a wonderful, beautiful, perfect, graceful, sweet, forever Youngman who can see into the mind.

I was odd, clumsy, plain, dysfunctional, weak, scarred human girl who talks to dead people.

"Why would you want to marry me?" I belted. My face was beet red.

His right hand left a fiery, icy trail to my face were he traced my lips.

"So I can kiss you anytime I want."

**(Okay, you caught me- That's from Sweet Home Alabama. Get over it)**

"You already can." I replied.

"Bella, I can't _really _kiss you. You are to breakable…."

And then it clicked.

If I married Edward, I became a vampire. There was no other way out of it, I could not remain human.

I would be a vampire.

Suddenly it didn't matter that I had always considered marriage the kiss of death- no pun intended- all that mattered was Edward. I had known him all of 5 months, but he was all that mattered.

We would be equal.

"You don't understand Bella." He tucked a piece of hair behind my ear "I want to _kiss_ you anytime I want." He whispered

That's all I needed to hear.

"Yeah" I answered.

"What?" his whole form straitened and his brow furrowed.

"Yeah" I laughed, and rapped my arms around his neck "I'm gonna to marry you."

A huge grin broke out across his face and his eyes twinkled with a happiness I had never seen in them before.

"Your funeral." He chuckled, reaching behind me.

I looked at his arm in confusion.

He gave me a look that said- "Hold your horses." So I waded in the water with one hand holding on to him.

I sighed for the 100th time.

I heard a snapping noise and turned. He had pulled a glittered rock out of its place and reached inside hole. When his white hand came out his long fingers held an oval diamond ring with a gold band.

"It was my mothers." He rushed, before I could scold him for spending money.

I nodded and closed my eyes in anticipation. Here comes the weight on my finger.

Instead I felt his marble lips kissing each finger.

Thumb, pointer, middle, pinky…

He looked up at me through his lashes as he slid the ring into place.

And then he kissed it.

"Ahem… Edward? How do you feel about Playboy bunnies?" I asked sheepishly.

**I put Edward in his knickers! I better get some reviews!**


	31. Sorry

SSSSSSSSSSSSSOOOOOOOORRRRRRRRYYYYYYYYYYY!

It's been awhile y'all. The past few moths that I haven't updated have been hard. I really haven't had time to update.

Anyways-

I have major writers block for this story. I want to start a new fanfic soon, and I will not be updating this for awhile, BUT I WILL BE UPDATEING IN THE FUTURE. It's really hard though because I have to borrow this computer to write. I will be focusing on my new fic. Look for it! I don't know what to call it. I know it's weird because I have 3 other incomplete stories… but inspiration has struck! ONCE AGAIN! THIS STORY IS NOT OVER. DO NOT GIVE UP ON ME! Thanks for sticking with me.

If anybody has any idea as to where I should start the next chapter, please help!

- COMMA OF THOUGHT (AKA- West)


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